Dear Sonic Restaurant Worker People,

First off, I would just like to say that you are right. You ARE my favorite drink stop. That special ice of yours makes me so happy. If I were on Prozac, I would stop it and crunch your ice instead. That is how good your ice is.

Your french fries aren’t the best, but they’ll do. I will put up with your less than best fries for a chance to drink your yummy cokes and crunch your yummy ice.

Your cheeseburgers are extra yummy. Just the right amount of grease, so as not to make me have a heart attack the minute I lay eyes on you, but they still manage to taste as though I should be having a heart attack. Pure heaven. HOWEVER, what is the deal with that dreaded question you ask the minute I say cheeseburger? Mayonnaise, mustard, or ketchup style? WHAT? Mustard OR ketchup? Don’t most people use both? Or is it just me? It must be me, because every time I say ketchup and mustard ya’ll pause for a minute and then wonderingly question "both?" as though I must be mistaken. Um, yea. I like both on my burgers.

So. I order both. And I know it confuses you and I know it ruins your day and for that I am sorry. But, you see, I am the one paying for that cheeseburger. That means that I would like it made the way I like to eat it. With ketchup and mustard, both of them, married on my sandwich the way God intended. So, when I order it and you then you act all confused and I explain to you that yes, please put BOTH on the sandwich, I just don’t understand how you could mess it up? I mean really, people. Why is it that I never actually get both ketchup and mustard on my cheeseburger? Is there an extra charge for both? I’ll pay it. Just tell me what I have to do to get both ketchup AND mustard on my sandwich. TELL ME!

Also, if you are wondering why I don’t just go home and put my own ketchup or mustard on the sandwich in the privacy of my own home, I will tell you why I do not do this. TEMPERATURE, people. You usually put mustard on and forget the ketchup. That means that the mustard has had time to meld with the burger and become one with the temperature. My ketchup happens to be refrigerated. That means that I will be eating a cheeseburger that is all the same temp EXCEPT FOR THE KETCHUP. And thats just wrong.

In closing, I would like to thank you for your yummy drinks and let you know that I will be compelled to return again and again regardless of if you figure out this ketchup/mustard problem of yours. However, I will be forced to stop ordering the cheeseburgers and stick to the drinks. Maybe I’ll even be one of those bitches who orders just a cup of ice. Free ice! That is what this will come to if you don’t start marrying my damn condiments.

Sincerely,
Karly, recovering Sonic addict