Hello? Anyone still here? Oh good. I haven’t scared you all away with my drunken writing.

A couple posts ago, Jennifer left a comment that probably confused the crap outta you. She said that I love to pull bacon off my child’s nakey arse. Where would she get such information you ask? Well, let me explain lest you all think I am some naked child bacon eating freak.

Once upon a time I made bacon and eggs and pancakes for dinner. Yum. I love me some bacon. Cleatus works 3rd shift so I woke him up with breakfast in bed at dinner time. We were sitting on our bed eating our breakfast when Cindy-Lu came in, naked as always, and snatched a piece of bacon off my plate. She then proceeded to jump around on the bed and drop the bacon and possibly sit on it, but I didn’t see her so I can’t be sure but it is highly likely that she did, because she is 2 and not very steady while jumping on a bed. After she got off the bed and I had eaten all my food I saw that lonely little piece of bacon sitting in the middle of the bed. And I snatched the little fucker up and I ate it. The end.

I am a bacon eating machine. Nothing can stop me. Not poop, not pee, not little girl booty germs. Nothing can come between me and bacon.