Eeyore was eating an apple when I looked up at him and he had a panicked look on his face. I asked what was wrong, thinking he was choking and ohmigod I’m going to have to do the Heimlich maneuver and a big ol’ chunk of apple is going to come flying out of this kids throat but what if it doesn’t and HOLYSHIT he could die! He answered me that he couldn’t swallow anymore because it hurt to bad. I said lets go get a drink of water, assuming he had just swallowed a piece of apple wrong and it was hurting his throat.

We went to the kitchen. He started gagging. I started imagining him dying on our kitchen floor. He bent over the garbage can, puked up a bunch of brown stuff (apparently when you eat a whole bag of m&m’s you don’t get rainbow puke, just a brown soupy mixture) and I got him some water and wiped his mouth.

He straightened up, stated "I’m okay," and walked off.

Great. If your so fine, maybe you could go dial 911 for me, cuz I’m pretty sure my heart just stopped.