I thought high school was tough. There was the popular crowd. The scummy crowd. The band geeks. The nerds. And then there was my crowd. The normal, everyday, not super popular, but not super unpopular crowd. I didn’t really have a crowd. I was just in the middle. And it was fine. I wasn’t ever made fun of, and I didn’t often make fun of other kids.

But, there is something about friendship that is just kinda hard when you are in high school. Its hard to stay best friends with someone who is flirting with your ex-boyfriend. Its hard to stay friends with someone who is dating someone you don’t like. It is hard to stay friends with someone who starts hanging with the dorks or the cool crowd or the stoners (unless you were me and then you will just leech onto those stoner friends and have a grand ol’ time).

Being a mom who has a friend that doesn’t have kids? That is even harder. Finding the time to actually hang out? Impossible. Calling each other to stay in touch? Not happenin’.  And then when you do find time to chat with your friend they don’t care all that much about your kids poop, and we all know how much moms like to talk about poop. What? That’s just me? Shuddup.

And now I am finding that being a mom who has a friend with children is even harder than all of the others. You have all that business of finding the time to get together or make a phone call. And then you have the play date between your kids. And that is where I have the biggest problem of all.

Parents are all so different. Some moms (and dads) are laid back. They don’t freak out when their kids fall down. They don’t panic if they get dirty. They don’t have a cow if they eat sugar. Other parents are overly strict and they don’t allow any television ever. Some kids have never tasted McDonald’s. And not just the little Ethiopian kids either.  Kids RIGHT HERE in AMERICA have never tasted MCDONALD’S. Sad, but true. These parents? They annoy me. But, I can totally deal with it. I might roll my eyes every now and again. But, we’ll still be friends.

Then there are the parents who allow their children to get away with everything. Their child hits mine and they say nothing. Their child swears constantly and they don’t tell him to stop. Their child makes a mess and they don’t ask him to help clean up. This is the type of parent that I can’t deal with.

One of my friends is one of those parents. I love her and I love hanging out with her. But, when her child is allowed to eat candy right before dinner, right after I’ve told Eeyore that he can’t have it? That’s not fun for me. When her child JUMPS on another kid and when that other kid tells on him and she says "Oh" as if she could care less? I want to JUMP on her and bash her head in. When she allows her young child to run free without supervision in places that I wouldn’t allow my older child to go? I want to shake her. And then? When I make my child behave and she looks at me and asks "how do you make him listen so well?" I want to tell her that I DISCIPLINE my children. NO MEANS NO. Say no and mean no. Follow through. Time outs. Less sugar. YOU are the boss, not the CHILD.  But, I know that she doesn’t actually want a lesson* in parenting from me. She wants me to say that she is a great mom and her kid is just fine. But its a lie, and I can’t say that. So I just smile and shrug.

What do you do in situations like this? Because I think that I’m just going to stop hanging out with this mom  and that makes me really sad.

*I am no expert mama, and I hope that didn’t come across that way. However, my kids do generally behave. Yes, they have off days. Today, at my parents house, I nearly had to tie Cindy-Lu down to change her clothes. But, you know what? For the most part, my kids ARE well-behaved. And I take credit for it. Because I’m the mom and I can. So there.

Also, I know some kids are just more hyperactive than mine. But, remember, I’m not complaining about the child. I’m complaining about the parent’s response to the child.

I dunno why I felt the need to defend myself after re-reading all that, but I did. So I did.