Wal-Mart used to be the place I would take Cindy-Lu when she was feeling cooped up for to long and wanted to get out. I am inevitably out of some sort of food product or other miscellaneous crap that you can get so cheaply at Wal-Mart so it just made sense to take her there when she wanted to leave the house. That playground shit is for the birds.

Recently I made the mistake of letting Cindy-Lu walk in Wal-Mart. We had just run in to grab one thing and I really didn’t need a cart and she was being so good that day that I just let her walk. Now, I’m sure you other mothers are out there shaking your heads and calling me an idiot, because you know what I did not.

She will never get in that god damn cart again. Ever. Not for a second. Don’t even try it or she will go limp and fall to the floor in a heap of anger and tears. And loud noise. Lots of loud noise will come from that lifeless little pile of girl child.

I am now making even MORE trips to Wal-Mart (something I didn’t even think was possible!) because short trips are the only ones that work when you have a two and a half year old trying to run all over the store and you are constantly shouting "Hold Bubba’s hand!" and "Eeyore, stop jerking her around like that!" and then she is saying "Be gentle, Bubba! Be gentle with Cindy-Lu!" and then the other patrons of the store are glaring at you for making your seven year old take care of your two year old so you can just buy some god damn fruit snacks for the children and get the hell out of there.

So, to make a long story even longer, today we were at Wal-Mart and Cindy-Lu was holding Eeyore’s hand and they were walking along and behaving decently enough when some asshole old man comes walking down the aisle. Now, I hate children running around the store as much as the next person and my kids get their asses kicked if they behave that way. So, they were both all the way against the edge of the aisle and I was on the other side of the aisle, but a few steps ahead of them. The kids were just walking down the aisle following their mother like little ducks, minding their own business, being well behaved, and not bothering anyone or even making a noise. The man had PLENTY of room to veer around them. Instead he chose to play chicken with my seven and two year old.

He was within inches of stepping on them when I said "Eeyore, watch out buddy! Apparently that man can’t see you!" He just kept right on walking, didn’t apologize, didn’t acknowledge that he was a fucker. Nothing.

Which is why, when we came to the book section and I saw the man sitting on the bench , I encouraged the children to sit on the bench next to him while I browsed the book section. And I did not tell them to stop bouncing around or climbing on the bench. I did not ask them to sit quietly. I did not reprimand them one time for making the man’s few minutes of rest a living hell.

Bastard.