Its Good To Be Back! | Wiping Up Snot

Guys! I’m baaaaack! You missed me right? I totally missed you! Although, I have to admit, I had a BLAST reading all the guest posts! Guest posts are the most fun this blog has ever had.

A great big THANK YOU to all my posters! (Except for Leslie. She used to be my BBF, but not anymore because she totally got more comments on MY blog than I’VE ever gotten. She took guest posting too far. She is dead to me. DEAD.) (Everyone else? I still love you.)

And, now that I’m back, I don’t really know what to say. But, everyone loves a good "men are idiots" story, so lets start there shall we?

This morning Cleatus came home from work with a big hole in the back of his pants. His back pocket was torn off somehow and his boxers were clearly visible. Mighty sexy.

The following conversation took place:

Cleatus: Don’t wash these pants. They’re garbage.

Me: Ok. Put ‘em in the garbage.

Cleatus: Ok. Just don’t wash them.

Me: I won’t if you PUT THEM IN THE GARBAGE.

Cleatus: Ok. I just want to be sure you won’t wash them, because THEY. ARE. GARBAGE.

Me: I don’t normally dig through the garbage to find clothes to wash. (Insert eye roll and shake of head because I KNOW that those jeans will end up with the rest of the dirty clothes.)

Cleatus: OK! I WILL PUT THEM IN THE GARBAGE! (Insert thought about how unreasonable his wife is.)

Keep in mind that this conversation happened just minutes before he removed his pants to go to bed. Now, lets all take a moment to guess where those jeans are right now.

Fuckin’ men.

That concludes the "men are idiots" portion of this post. Now, on to more important business. First off, tomorrow I will have a burning question about bobby pins that must be answered. Be prepared. Second, I have to guest post on Wednesday at Shoo Fly, WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I WRITE ABOUT? Heeeeeelp me! And third, do I use to many commas? Discuss.

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20 Comments so far
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Hmmmm…hamper?

karly! is it really you? welcome back!

as for your guest post at melodyann’s, you can’t write about vibrators. cuz i already did! *evil grin*

Yay! You’re back. And with a great story. You don’t go looking through the garbage for laundry? Huh. That’s just odd.

Just pull one of his better pair of pants from the closet and deposit them in the trash as collateral.

F***ing laundry.

So glad you’re back, the guest posts were OK but you made me laugh this morning, and you always do!

There’s no such thing as using, too, many, commas,,,.

Yay! Welcome back! You did find some mighty talented guest posters, but we missed ya. I always think I use too many exclamation points and especially too many of these … dots. I love them. That Cleatus story sounds a little familiar, like when Husband puts his holey socks in the washer and then complains that he only has socks with holes…hmmmmm.

Yay, you’re back! We missed you!

I totally did not comment on Leslie’s post out of laziness, er… I mean, loyalty to you
Glad you’re back.

Glad you’re back. There is one silver lining in your laundry story — at least your husband put the pants in the HAMPER. I’m having trouble training mine to understand that the FLOOR is not the HAMPER.

If you get a good deal on commas somewhere, use all you want.

If Cletus is anything like my man his jeans are on the bloody floor, not in the hamper! ,,,,,,Commas……. dots…..!!!!!!!! ain’t that what they are for???????? Express yourself mate!$#@#$%^&*(&^#@@!!!

Welcome back!

And I think men are idiots, too. We should keep our husbands far apart so that they can’t compare idiot notes.

Not too many commas but possibly not enough “o’s.”.

Glad you’re back. Sorry I didn’t slut the place up more.

Welcome back Karly!!!!
I agree, you did choose some great guest bloggers to make your absence go by more quickly, for this we thank you, however I am so glad you are back you always make me laugh. I hope you enjoyed your time away.
BTW.. my honey does things that warrant the eye roll and head shake occasionally too. Some days more than others but so would his replacement if I decided to bring in a new “regime”. ;o)

So glad you’re back, you were missed! (but loved the guest posters too)

I’m a comma’ lover myself so I say “On with the comma’s!”

Great to have you back!

But wait - he took the garbage pants off and went right to bed? Without a shower!? Toss those sheets in the garbage, too!

Jane, P&B Girls

Missed you, missed you, missed you!!

So glad you’re back, although you had some mighty fine guest posters writing here while you were gone…

Still, they weren’t YOU, and I can’t wait to get caught up on all your news!! Once we’re all finished the fucking LAUNDRY, that is… You and me both, sister… you and me BOTH…

Men… I’ll never understand them.

My other favorite is, “Honey, there’s a stain in this shirt that needs treating.” ‘Honey’ hands him the pretreatment stick. “No, I thought you would do it if I put it in the hamper.” Duh.

Oh, Karly. I missed you! I missed you so so much. And I know you missed me, too. And we’re still BBF. Do I have to paint you another special friends picture? C’mon. You love me! You can’t blame me for all the comments. It’s those commentors. Commenters. (I always fuck that word.) Asking everyone to list their favorite cuss word is like handing everyone some bubble wrap and saying, “Get popping.” No one can resist it.

men are idiots. kids suck. yep. Actually, in general, ALL people suck. (except you of course)

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