Eeyore and I have season passes to Six Flags. We’ve only gone twice this year and I’d really like to get in one more trip before the park closes for the year. And, since October is right around the corner, I told Cleatus that I was going to take Eeyore to Fright Fest. Have you ever been? Cleatus immediately rolled his eyes and told me that we would hate it because the lines are HORRIBLY LONG and, um, I hate lines. Especially HORRIBLY LONG lines.
So, I did what anyone in my situation would do. I googled "is six flags st. louis fright fest very busy." Because, after all, google knows EVERYTHING. (Before you all start thinking I’m retarded, just know that I don’t normally google weird things like "hey google, do you think my hair looks good today?". I usually just use google to search for porn.)
I came across this article talking about how GREAT! and FUN! Fright Fest is and it made me even more excited to go.
Until I read this (insert drum roll here):
Speaking of a sweet tooth, if you are up for a challenge and hate standing in line, this year Six Flags offers a unique opportunity. The park will allow guests to Eat Your Way to the Front of the Line. Guests have the option to live a real ‘Fear Factor’ moment by eating a real cockroach to move to the front of the line. Perfect for those impatient people that skipped lunch!
Um, I don’t know about you, but if I have to watch people eating a motherfucking cockroach to skip to the front of the motherfucking line I am going to motherfucking barf.
(And that concludes the "motherfucking" portion of this post.)
So, dear internets, I come to you asking for guidance. Should I attend this bug eating event? Have you ever gone? ARE the lines really HORRIBLY LONG?
14 Comments so far
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guh, I went once way back in high school and it’s too fuzzy to remember. the good news I don’t remember any bugs.
By Dawn on 09.15.07 7:30 pm | Permalink
I love the whole Google as a Magic Eight Ball concept. I may have to go with that.
By MammaLoves on 09.15.07 9:45 pm | Permalink
There is no f**kn way I’d eat a cockroach to get to the front of any line!!! Totally grossssssss!!!!
By Chris H on 09.16.07 3:11 am | Permalink
How about if you volunteer to cry hysterically and scream colourful obscenities, while at the same time stomping on the cockroach with heavy boots and spraying the sh*t out of it with a can of “Kreepy Krawly” (my personal bug-riddance of choice)?
THAT would make the crowds part for you, I’m certain of it.
By candygirlflies on 09.16.07 6:52 am | Permalink
Bleck! NO experience with the Fright Fest thingy but cockroaches? Bleck!
By Heather on 09.16.07 9:53 am | Permalink
Here in NY we went to Fright Fest and the lines were nothing. It gets a bit chilly here by October, so that could be a factor. We also had the Fear Factor experience and I don’t think ANYONE did it. People didn’t want to lose their lunch before hitting the coasters.
FYI, bring a bit of extra money with you. While we got in on our season pass, it still wouldn’t get us admittance to the huge haunted house they had unless we paid extra.
We had a blast though!
By Simple_Chic on 09.16.07 4:46 pm | Permalink
I went to Fright Fest in Atlanta when I was in high school, and loved it. I don’t remember much of lines, but I know we were there late at night and don’t they stop rides that late? I don’t know. But I liked it, and I have agoraphobia.
By Jack's Raging Mommy on 09.17.07 12:32 am | Permalink
Cedar Point does Hallo-weekends in October, same concept. We went last year and the lines were HORRIBLE. We were there all day and went on FOUR fucking rides. So I would not recommend it. But then again - we paid for it. I would probably feel differently if we had season passes…
By HB on 09.17.07 10:40 am | Permalink
we have a six flags here, and we also have this awesome “haunted house review” - in fact I received my first email from them this morning (I haven’t read it yet) that hires teams of “experts” to go around to the various haunted houses and review them - our six flags one always gets poor reviews, so I never go. We do have the eat a nasty ass bug and cut in line option (or did last year) and it is my understanding that there is a discount for season pass holders but still some expense. I suggest you google “name of Karly’s city haunted houses” and see if you don’t have the same sort of review group - it makes our year every year - because frankly, no one can actually afford to go haunted house hopping around here. Ours is http://www.haunteddenver.com - good luck
By momumo on 09.17.07 10:57 am | Permalink
In another life, I worked for a pair of local haunted houses. Two things all houses fear: the fire marshal and litigation.
Based on the infomation at hand, here’s a pair little tips to skip the long lines:
A: Watch the MF cockroach show with feigned interest, then pass out. When you are “revived” by staff, casually drop that your attorney husband is gonna get all angry that you banged your head on their sidewalk, and let’s not tell him ok? and TA-DA, front of the line.
B: There are usually costumed freaks wandering about in front of the house, whipping up the crowd. Find one that is wearing a mask, limiting his vision.
This is where junior is going to have to take one for the team, running out in front of him and getting trampled. While Eeyore’s tears are drying, you will be steping through the entrance with your comped ticket.
As for the morality of said tips, fuck it. They tried to make you eat a cockroach. . .
SA
PS new fan.
By Sarcasm Abounds on 09.17.07 12:12 pm | Permalink
Hey, I went to Fright Fest a while back. (I’d just like to say that I miss St. Louis!!!) We had a ton of fun and the lines were not bad AT ALL! They were short compaired to going on any given day in the summer (Gawd, I miss our season passes!). Do make sure to take a jacket though, it does get chilly!! I wish I could go :’(
By Gail on 09.17.07 8:45 pm | Permalink
I love google.
But I’m still wondering how I ended up here after using the terms “wolfcrotch” and “mofo.”
Long strange trips google sends us on.
By sauerkraut on 09.18.07 8:12 am | Permalink
You won’t eat a cockroach for your child? Huh.
By Oh, The Joys on 09.18.07 8:51 am | Permalink
I did the Cedar Point Hallo-weekends a few years ago. Lines? I don’t remember. All I know is that place, once the sun went down, scared the shit out of me. They aren’t kidding when they tell you it’s scary. IT IS!
By Leslie on 09.20.07 7:50 pm | Permalink
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