So, yeah. How ya guys been? I feel like a loser blogger lately. I haven’t been around much and it is totally stressing me out. I think to myself that "Oh, I don’t have anything interesting to say," but I do! I really, really do!
I want to tell you guys about the fight I got into in high school. Over a boy. A big loser boy that I didn’t even really like that much. And how I actually said the words "Meet me in the parking lot at 4pm," because I was one big tough girl. The police even came.
I also want to ramble on and on about all the CHEMICALS! and THE THINGS THEY DO! and how WE ARE DYING! from THE CHEMICALS! I read an article the other day about CHEMICALS! being in pretty much EVERYTHING and how bad it is and y’all it is stressing me out. I recently switched to non-toxic cleaners and laundry detergent, but there is SO MUCH MORE that I need to do and thinking about it is keeping me awake at night. Right now my biggest concern is the drinking water. We drink bottled water. Every day. Every bit of water that we drink comes from a plastic bottle. Plastic bottles have CHEMICALS! So, then I think well, we’ll just stop doing that and I’ll start buying a gallon of water instead. But, guess what? The gallon jug? Its made of plastic. So, then I think well, we’ll drink tap water. And then I remember that our tap water is kind of yucky and when you boil it all this white stuff floats to the top and sorry, but no. So, I lay in bed trying to sleep but instead I think of how THE WATER IS KILLING MY FAMILY.
I want to tell you about my son and how much I love him and how I just LOVE homeschooling him. I am so proud of him. Today we learned about how a baby is made. I said words like "extra blood flows into the penis and it gets long and hard" and "the vagina gets stretchy and soft" and "then the penis goes into the vagina and sperm shoots out and fertilizes the egg" and did I mention that when I said the word vagina the first time he asked me what that was and I said "um…well, you have a penis and girls have a vagina…you know, like what Cindy-Lu has. Can you remember what it looks like?" And then I wondered if it would be wrong to go un-diaper Cindy-Lu to give him a visual and then I thought to myself "Jesus Christ! What the hell am I thinking?" and I just said "girlshavevaginasandyou’veseenCindy-Lu’swhensheisn’twearingadiaperandinsidethereisaholeandthatiswhereapenisgoesokay?" And then I fell over dead while he sat there traumatized and wanting to vomit. Sex Ed! Fun!
And, last, I want to tell you about hair bows! I love hair bows! I’m thinking about making my own and maybe selling them, but probably just making them for Cindy-Lu, because hi, I’m lazy and they might take away from my naps or something.
This weekend I am going out of town SHOPPING with my mommy and I won’t be back until Monday evening, so if you don’t hear from me, I have not died, I have just decided to move to the mall, because mall? I love you.
11 Comments so far
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I really wish I’d been a fly on the wall for that lesson lol.
It’s so difficult to know just how to explain things isn’t it. You don’t want to misinform but installing a phobia isn’t good either.
I resorted to a ook aimed for my sons age. I know, I know it’s the cop out way but sometimes it’s hard enough to do the act with hubby let alone explain it to a pre schooler.
By Amanda Regan on 10.26.07 7:32 pm | Permalink
Oh I went shopping with Mommy last weekend. I got a fabulous necklace.
Have fun. I’ve missed you!
By MammaLoves on 10.26.07 10:38 pm | Permalink
I love teaching my kid about sex and babies!!! I love totally grossing them out… when Steve was about 7 he asked me about vaginas… so I asked our girls (aged about 11, 13 and 14) if one of then would show him… our 13 year old said “sure” and dropped her knickers, spread her legs and said “SEE” ! He looked, nodded his head and said “cool”… that was the end of that. I still laugh over it.
By Chris H on 10.26.07 11:12 pm | Permalink
Good for you for using the real names for body parts. Any mom who gets up the courage to do that is a hero in my books!
By Shannon on 10.27.07 6:47 am | Permalink
Brave, brave woman. Sex ed? At Home? Scary.
(and so what if I purposely used up all the toilet paper in the house thus creating a NEED for me to go back to SUPERTARGET?) Is that so wrong?
Have fun at the mall..as always, I? will be at SUPERTARGET
By Pam on 10.27.07 9:27 am | Permalink
I just can NOT imagine looking my eleven year old in the eye and telling him that his penis is going to get “long and hard” so that it can fit inside a “soft and stretchy” vagina. I’m panicking a little just thinking about it now.
I need a book. A really good book.
By Elizabeth on 10.28.07 8:37 pm | Permalink
Oh Karly. You’re so funny.
You’re worried about chemicals? I had a mother tell me I’m ruining my daughter because I let her eat hot dogs that aren’t organic. (I didn’t mention that we’ve been living at McDonald’s for October because Mama Loves Monopoly, baby!) Now I’m freaking out because, what if I am ruining my daughter because all of our food isn’t organic? And why the hell didn’t I make my own baby food? She was ruined before she was a year old! Anyway, I think I can feel your pain.
Congrats on doing the sex ed thing and being so thorough. My parents gave me the sex talk, but I still had to trick my mom into playing truth or dare with my friends and I when they were sleeping over at my house, just so we could ask her what a blow job was. And why it was called a blow job when you really don’t blow at all.
Anyway…have fun at the mall.
By Leslie on 10.28.07 11:52 pm | Permalink
Oh! I love you…
By melodyann on 10.29.07 5:28 am | Permalink
Oh AND! I tagged you!
By melodyann on 10.29.07 12:12 pm | Permalink
Lol!
I so want to hear about that high school fight. I was always the girl who stared at her feet in hopes of avoiding a confrontation…
By Redneck Mommy on 10.30.07 3:22 pm | Permalink
how about a 6 year old asking his mom what a blow job is… and then thinking about it for a while and then asking if she’s ever given dad a bj?
By dawn on 11.01.07 8:54 pm | Permalink
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