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Next year would someone please remind me that I am not, in fact, Martha Stewart? There is no reason for me to bake a hundred and one different types of cookies. The only person that is going to eat them is me. Sure, my kids will spend their days begging for JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE, ONE MORE LITTLE COOKIE, CAN I JUST LICK THE COOKIES, MAMA, I NEED MORE SUGAR! like the the little sugar addicts they are, but for some reason I feel the need to feed them healthy food and so I will repeatedly say no, no, NO MORE DAMN SUGAR until my throat bleeds and then I will sneak to the kitchen and eat all the rest of the cookies just to shut them up. (Hello, my name is Karly and I speak in run-on sentences.)
I’m pretty sure that it was not Jesus’ intention to make all the people of the world fat as a way to celebrate his birth. Therefore, this Christmas baking thing should be put to an end.
So far (and I say "so far" because, contrary to the previous two paragraphs, I’m not sure I’m finished with the baking yet. Someone stop me.), I have made double decker chocolate peanut butter fudge (didn’t turn out good, damn it), enough sugar cookies to feed a damn army, peanut butter blossoms with hershey kisses AND some with Reese’s peanut butter cups, and THE MOST DELICIOUS COOKIE EVER.
Speaking of delicious…To all of you ladies who want to see the sexy picture of my husband, I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t show it to you. Way back when we were planning to move I packed up all of our photo albums and took them to storage. Where they still are. Even though we have no idea when we will be moving. Next month or next year.
But, how about this picture. Will it do?
The Hurricane Tongue: Just one of the many reasons I love my husband.
His tongue ain’t named "The Hurricane" for nothin’. Not that I would know anything about that lately, seeing as how I have yet to open a gift containing a camera.
Lisa says:
Let me be the first to say…yum. I mean, um, thanks.
December 12th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
jackie says:
Oh.my.Gawd! Those cookies look awesome. Must buy ingredients immediately if not sooner.
Glad to hear you’re holding out for the camera!
December 12th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Shannon says:
Peanut butter and chocolate is the BEST combination ever. My husband ruins all my fun by being allergic to peanuts. Can I come to your house? Then you’d only eat half the goodies.
I am exactly the same way. Forbid the kids to eat any sugar and even though I am the one who really doesn’t need it, I do! There should be some way to harness the metabolism of a child for the holidays.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
baseballmom says:
Oh, man…those cookies look SO good, and kinda complicated for my lazy ass. Also, Cleatus is hawt as ever! Hey, you need to email me your address, ’cause I picked ya for Mel’s gift exchange.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
MommyCosm says:
*LOL* Am I the only one who sees the connection as to why you feel the need to make lots and lots of cookies…using chocolate?!
Duh, it’s a substitute…for the hurricane tongue.
Stay strong, woman!
December 12th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
biodtl says:
I’ve been wanting the same camera and I knew I’d wait forever for my husband to get it for me (it’s not that he wouldn’t want to - he’s just entirely unmotivated and lazy when it comes to shopping and totally clueless when it comes to cameras). So I started watching ebay and got a great deal on one. I used it for the first time yesterday and it’s awesome. It’s still not cheap, but it was around half the retail price, so you might want to check it out if you haven’t already.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Dory says:
LMAO
Dory knows about The Hurricane Tongue.
Screw all those stupid politicians. Hurricane Tongue for President 2008!
December 12th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Leslie says:
I’ve been baking like crazy, too. All of Julia’s classes have been ending this past week and we’ve been taking treats to each of them. So, I haven’t gotten to really enjoy the baking I’ve done.
Cleatus is a cutie. And The Hurricane Tongue cracks me up! I hope you get your camera so it doesn’t go to waste.
December 13th, 2007 at 12:11 am
nan says:
Are you weakening? All this raunchy talk… Be strong, lady!
December 13th, 2007 at 10:25 am
nan says:
Are you weakening? All this raunchy talk… Be strong, lady!
December 13th, 2007 at 10:25 am
Jerseygirl89 says:
Cleatus is adorable. And fortunately for me, I have my own Hurricane Tongue, so I know what you’re missing. Are you sure you can hold out?
December 13th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
Mommi Tutu says:
I think it’s only fair you get “The Hurricane” AND the camera . . .and Cleatus gets nothing but the satisfaction of satisfying you!
December 13th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Pam says:
Was there something about cookies in your post? I think I wanted to comment about those cookies but um, uh, the hurricane tongue? You made even me blush and now, it’s all I can think about. Would it be wrong to call Larry home from work and think of nothing other than Cleatus and his tongue? That would be wrong wouldn’t it?
December 14th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Angel says:
I’ll sacrifice the camera if I can just have him for Christmas. I’m so not kidding. I’m in love:)
December 14th, 2007 at 10:47 am
David King says:
It’s the hurricane tongue because he won’t SHUT THE FUCK UP
hehe
December 14th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Dawn says:
Yeah, he’s hawt, but I’d be holding out for the damn camera too!
December 15th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
jasmine says:
That’s too funny… before you mentioned the “hurrican tongue” thing… I was going to comment on his nice wide tongue. We are sisters separted at birth… sicko’s, but similar all the same.
December 16th, 2007 at 1:17 am