This isn’t a funny post. This isn’t going to make you giggle or snort or laugh. This also isn’t a sad post. This won’t make you cry. This post? Something completely different. It’s a post about hamburger buns. Who doesn’t love a good hamburger? Or, better yet, a good juicy CHEESEburger? Nobody! That’s who! Unless you’re a vegetarian and if that’s the case, well, I’m real sorry. Real sorry you’re gonna miss out on this most delicious experience.
I usually buy the pack of eight hamburger buns that are on sale for a dollar. I know. I’m cheap and I’m stingy and I really need to change my ways. But if I’m going to run around buying a new refrigerator every time my old one gets dirty then I have to skimp somewhere, right? Turns out that I can make my own hamburger buns that TASTE BETTER and COST LESS than those (cheap, sad, pathetic) store bought ones. You should try it too.
You probably have all the ingredients in your kitchen RIGHT THIS MINUTE. So what are you waiting for?
Sugar, all-purpose OR bread flour (I used a mixture of all purpose and wheat, but didn’t get a picture of the wheat. I forgot, okay? And bread flour would be better, but I was out. GIVE ME A BREAK.), milk, butter, eggs, salt, and active dry yeast. You’ve got all that, right? And if you’ve got some garlic powder get that out too. Halfway through making these I thought to myself “You know, I’ll bet these would be FANTASTIC with some garlic powder tossed in!” I do that a lot. It’s a sickness.
Now that you’ve got all your ingredients out and lined up, let’s get baking. Grab the bowl for your KitchenAid, or if you’re one of those sad little people that don’t yet own a KitchenAid, just grab a regular bowl. And I’m not hatin’. I was one of those sad little people up until a few months ago.
The first thing we need to do is warm up our milk. You’ll need 1 and 1/4 cups of milk heated until its warm, but not hot. If it’s too hot you’ll kill the yeast and that would be mean. If it’s too cold your yeast will just sit there and wonder what the heck your problem is and never get around to doing whatever it is that yeast is supposed to do. Stick your finger in there and test it. Just don’t forget to wash that finger first, okay?
Now dump the warm milk in your bowl along with 1 and 1/4 teaspoons of active dry yeast. If you have a packet of yeast like I did, do NOT dump in the whole thing. Measure it, man. Measure it.
Now we’re going to let our yeast “bloom.” Don’t ask me why they call it that. There will be no flowers sprouting from this bowl.
Leave it be for about ten minutes and you’ll be ready to add the rest of your ingredients. The yeast will cover the top of the milk and turn it a nice yeasty brown shade. Or something. I really don’t know what color “yeasty brown” is, but it sounds good, so let’s just go with it.
Crack your egg into a small dish and beat it.
I’m just showing off my ability to crack eggs with one hand here. Pretty cool, right? Beat your egg with a fork and then add it to your bowl of milk and yeast.
You’ll also add in 1/4 cup of sugar (this will make the buns fairly sweet, if you prefer you can use less sugar), 2 tablespoons of softened butter and a couple pinches of kosher salt. You could also use regular table salt, but I’m out. In fact, I’ve been out for about three weeks now. My husband keeps begging me to buy him some “regular damn salt,” but I’m forgetful. Besides, kosher salt makes me feel fancy.
This is the part where I decided that these would be fabulous with some garlic powder thrown in. I added about 2 tablespoons. You can add more or less (or none!) depending on how much you like garlic. You could also add in dried minced onion and turn these into onion rolls. Unfortunately I married a man who doesn’t like onion. I know. It was a mistake, but I don’t believe in divorce so I’m trying to tough it out.
Now we’re going to start mixing this together. Using your dough hook on your KitchenAid (or just use your hands), start mixing it on slow. Slowly add in 3 and 3/4 cups of flour. I used 2 cups white flour and 1 and 3/4 cup wheat. You do what you want. Make ‘em your own, man. I don’t mind.
After your dough is kneaded into submission you’ll transfer it to an oiled bowl to rise until doubled. Your dough should be sticky when you touch it, but not glopping off on your fingers. You want to feel some resistance when you pull your fingers away, but the dough shouldn’t come too, ya know?
Put your ball of dough into an oiled bowl and roll it all around to coat the dough. Cover the bowl with a clean towel and leave it to rise until doubled, about an hour. If you’re like me you’ll put the bowl in your oven. I think it rises faster in there. This may or may not be true, but thats what I choose to believe, okay?
See that? That’s doubled. I think. I’m real bad with math. Either way, I’m tired of waiting and it’s nearly time for lunch. Let’s make some dang hamburger buns. Ready for the fun to start?
Punch your dough. Punch it hard. Just once. Don’t go beating it up, just punch it once to show it whose boss. Now that your dough knows who is in charge, we’ll make us some hamburger buns.
Normal people would probably flour their counter top a bit and roll this dough out before they let it rise. They would roll it out, cut it, and THEN let it rise. I’m not normal, but if you are, you go ahead and do just that. Roll it to about 3/4 of an inch thick, grab a biscuit cutter (yeah, I don’t have one of those either.) and cut your buns out. Put ‘em on a greased pan, let them rise for about an hour and then pop ‘em in a 350 degree oven.
If you are NOT normal then you’ll understand what I mean when I say that I avoid flouring my counter tops at all costs. It’s messy and it puts me in a bad mood. I just broke chunks of dough off, shaped them into a ball and flattened them out a bit with the palm of my hand. It’s not perfect, but it works.
Pop your buns into your pre-heated 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes. They should get nice and brown and crusty. Crusty. That just doesn’t sound good, does it? But, when it comes to buns, crusty is good. Trust me.
And would ya quit inspecting my oven? It’s not clean, okay? I know it’s not clean, you know it’s not clean, everyone knows that my oven is not clean. Let’s just move on.
Ooh, look! The buns are done! And it’s about time, too.
Now you’re ready to eat! Hope you’ve got a cheeseburger nearby. I loaded mine up with ketchup, mustard, lettuce and tomato. My husband? He put peanut butter on his. And while he was doing that I was reminding myself that I don’t believe in divorce, I don’t believe in divorce, I don’t…
I’m sorry. What was I saying? Something about cheeseburgers and divorce. I’m afraid I got distracted by that big beautiful burger up there.
My buns came out pretty dense, but I liked them that way. (Get your mind outta the gutter.) If you prefer a lighter, airier bun then you should definitely stick with bread flour. If you like your bun to be pretty darn substantial then go right ahead and be like me. I’m a pretty cool girl in case you didn’t know.
Now get outta here and make yourself a cheeseburger. You deserve it after listening to me ramble on for so long.
Homemade Hamburger Buns
- 1 1/4 cups milk (around 80 degrees F)
- 1 egg, beaten
- 2 tablespoons butter, softened
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 3 pinches of salt
- 3 3/4 cups bread flour
- 1 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
- garlic powder, to taste
- oil for oiling the bowl
Heat the milk to around 80 degrees, add yeast. Let mixture rest about 10 minutes. Add sugar, salt, butter, beaten egg and garlic powder (optional). Knead with hands or using a dough hook on a stand mixer until dough is soft and smooth. Oil a bowl and roll the dough to coat all sides with oil. Let rise until doubled, about an hour. Punch dough down, break off pieces into whatever size bun you would prefer. A bit larger than an egg will give you a standard size bun. Shape your dough pieces into balls and flatten into discs. Let rise another 30 minutes and bake in a 350 degree oven for 15 minutes or until done. Slice and enjoy!
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