Last night I told Eeyore to brush his teeth and get to bed. I waited impatiently for him to finish so that I could use the bathroom and get to bed myself. After what seemed like forever he came out and went to his room and climbed in to bed.
I did my thing in the bathroom and went to my room to climb into bed as well. Something stopped me and I walked to his room and tucked him in. I rarely ever tuck him in anymore. I usually tell him good night and that I love him as I’m shutting his door. Last night, I walked in, tucked his blankets under him and said “Snug as a bug in a rug,” just like I used to do every night when he was younger. He just smiled up at me and I bent over to kiss his forehead and tell him I loved him. As I was walking out of the room it hit me.
I AM HIS MOM.
I am supposed to be tucking him into bed every night. I am supposed to make sure he gets plenty of hugs and kisses every day. I am supposed to read him plenty of stories and play with all his little army men with him. I am supposed to show him that he is the most important thing in the world to me.
I spend all day with him and we read lots of books together, but most of those are for school. I try to kiss him, but he wipes them off or runs from me and so I don’t try as often as I should. I hardly ever play with his toys with him, because seriously? Army guys? Bleh.
He knows that I love him. He knows he is my favorite boy ever.
But, what is he going to remember about me when he grows up? Will he remember the way I sat at the dining room table with him and taught him math? Will he remember that every day we would climb into my bed and read our history and science books? Will he remember the times that I snapped at him to turn the TV down? Will he remember me nagging him to put his clothes in his hamper instead of on his floor? Will he remember all the times I’ve taken him to the movies and out to eat, just the two of us? Will he remember how I sat through GAME AFTER GAME of Don’t Wake Daddy or Chutes and Ladders or Monopoly?
I’m his mom. Its my job to make his childhood GOOD.
God. That is a lot of responsibility. And, yes, I know I am late to the game here. He’s nearly 8 years old and its just hitting me? I mean, I’ve always known I was his mom and that I had to feed him and bathe him and clothe him and keep him happy. But, I never thought all that much about what he was going to REMEMBER of his day to day life.
What are your kids going to remember about you?
My boy: 2003
Jennifer says:
He’ll remember the good things.
I hope my kids don’t remember me as the mom on her damn laptop all the time.
Jennifer’s last blog post..A Utopia Where We Can All Be Cheap Together
February 7th, 2008 at 10:01 am
In the Trenches of Mommyhood says:
Great post. Thanks for the reminder.
In the Trenches of Mommyhood’s last blog post..So Ya Had a Bad Day…
February 7th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Mary Jo says:
Great post. I remember my mom tucking me in every night. It is one of my fondest memories.
February 7th, 2008 at 10:46 am
Angie says:
Good lesson of mommyhood, and at least you learned it before it was too late. Never take a single moment for granted, because it could all change in an instant – I learned THAT lesson the hard way, and sometimes in life there are no second chances.
As for what he will remember, when he’s grown and has his own children and snaps at them to turn the TV down or nags at them to put their clothes in the hamper, he might just smile and realize you taught him valuable life lessons in everything that you did, understand that you did love him, and know that he has the tools to teach his own children skills they need to be productive members of society. When he sits in bed reading books with his kids and plays army men, he will have a big warm spot in his heart knowing he’s sharing your love for him with his love for them. It’s great to know that, isn’t it?
February 7th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Mommycosm says:
My parents always tucked me in and walked away saying:
Good night.
I love you.
See you in the morning.
Doesn’t sound like much, but it was EVERY night.
I started doing this with Princess…except of course the “see you in the morning” part should be more like “see you in the middle of the night when you scream and/or crawl into my bed”
Mommycosm’s last blog post..Love Letter
February 7th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Lindsay says:
Ah, nothing like a good dose of Mom Guilt. Mom Guilt is what made me spend all afternoon yesterday playing Memory and making crafty masks with my 4 year old. 15 minutes after we were done he said “YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH ME!” so that’s obviously what he’s going to remember when he’s 30 and in therapy.
Lindsay’s last blog post..Welcome To The Best Day EVER!
February 7th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Chris H says:
UNFORTUNATELY most (nah ALL) of my kids are bound to remember me flashing me boobs at them!
Chris H’s last blog post..ITS FRIDAY, THAT’S ORIGINAL EH?
February 7th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Chris H says:
UMMM – AND at their mates!
Chris H’s last blog post..ITS FRIDAY, THAT’S ORIGINAL EH?
February 7th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Zephra says:
I hope that they remember that I did it all for love…and I would do it again.
February 7th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
janet says:
i have the benefit of having perspective here since my oldest boys are adults.
and here is what they remember: home was — and is — always the place where love lives.
as for my daughter? she’ll undoubtedly remember my potty mouth and that her mother saw her naked at 13. sigh.
janet’s last blog post..It’s the little things that make up the big things
February 7th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Leslie says:
Oh, Karly. This was a beautiful post. And how super cute is Eeyore in that picture?
I hope Julia will remember all the love, the kisses, the making cookies, the tickle fights, the crafts, the blanket forts, the stories, the games, and the dance parties. I hope she’ll remember how I wake her in the morning with our good morning song and I make her heart-shaped pancakes. I want her to remember laughing with her Daddy and me and most of all, feeling valued and accepted. I want her to remember the good stuff.
Chances are, she’ll remember stuff like – my breath stinks in the morning, hair in the bath tub makes me have a conniption and that I was the one that taught her to say “fuck.”
Leslie’s last blog post..It Has Been Said That Pregnancy Hormones Can Make You Desirious Of Sexual Activity. Well, So Can Love.
February 7th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
shuey6 says:
This is something I am struggling with right* this* minute; so thank you for this post.
If I were to die today, I’d be remembered as that red-faced yelling thing.
Time to change that.
shuey6’s last blog post..TGIF
February 8th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Elle says:
What a great post. Max is just a bit older than Eeyore – 9 in October. Right now I’m the mean mom. But I’m also the soothing tea maker, tucker-inner and say your prayers, sweet dreams, you’re my favorite boy-er. I guess I can live with that.
Elle’s last blog post..Thought Bubbles of the Universe
February 8th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Queen of Shake Shake says:
I dunno what they’ll remember. I try to think about what I remember of my mom as a kid….and it isn’t much. Makes what I’m doing seem kinda pointless. Now I’m depressed. Time for more wine!
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Blogcation: The Creation Story
February 8th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Anna says:
From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Thats not the way I want her to remember me. So thanks for reminding me!
I have to remind myself this every day, when all the “must to this first” pops out of my mouth. Nothing is more important to me than my daughter, why do I always have to do all the “musts” first?
February 8th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
baseballmom says:
This one really hit home for me…I think about that all the time! I like to think of myself as a pretty fun mom, but whenever I get crabby, I think, “This is probably what the kids will remember…a crabby mom with no patience who reads in her spare time, and spends way too much time on the computer.” We can only hope that they remember the good stuff!
baseballmom’s last blog post..Some stuff
February 9th, 2008 at 2:38 am
Vicky says:
Beautiful post. Good reminder too. I hope my daughter remembers the dance parties to the Beatles greatest hits.
Vicky’s last blog post..Pregnancy Test Results Today!
February 9th, 2008 at 10:36 am
nan says:
Well, my 8 year old son, in his own words today, will remember me as a “tyrant” and “blackmailer” because I told him “no more computer games till your homework is done”. I said “it’s not blackmail, its a reward for getting your homework all done before 5 o’clock!” and he said that those two words have the same meaning, but evil people like myself misuse the word “reward” so as to control our slaves. I am going to need help with this kid.
nan’s last blog post..food part 2, and Issa in a nutshell.
February 9th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Karly says:
Testing…
February 12th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Dawn says:
sigh… mine is dismantling my room while I’m on the computer… probably not the best parenting ever.
Dawn’s last blog post..Haiku roadtrip
February 15th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
December says:
I hope that my children grow up knowing that despite the bullshit in their lives, the multiple divorces, the drama with their father, Despite all of that, I came through for them as a voice of reason. I never talk down to my kiddos, I treat them with the respect that they have earned and I love them completely. I have total faith that when they look back on their childhood, the few times they have had lessons to learn have been dealt with in a way that will make them appreciate the lesson, appreciate their lives and focus on moving forward.
Great article. It IS a huge responsibility.
June 5th, 2009 at 10:47 am