I know! I’m ready for Spring too! I don’t want to think about next Christmas either! More snow. More lights. More trees. More cookies. (That part might be okay.) More presents. More CHRISTMAS. I am DONE with Christmas.
BUT! Indulge me for just a moment, okay? I need some advice.
This past Christmas, and all the other Christmases before it, my children have gotten TOO MANY gifts. The two sets of grandparents go overboard and the parents (Hi, that’d be me and Cleatus) go overboard. I had big plans to keep it simple this year. I was pretty well finished Christmas shopping for the kids and had a respectable amount of gifts for them. And then the Amazon sales hit. Did you get in on those? I mean $20 and $30 toys for $5! How could you pass those deals up, right? I couldn’t. I didn’t. I went crazy. It was ridiculous and we still have unopened gifts in the kids’ bedrooms. Eeyore’s stocking stuffers wouldn’t fit in his stocking because there were so many. He had a stocking and a medium sized gift bag that was filled to the top! It was RIDICULOUS. And half of those stocking stuffers are just laying in the bottom of his toy box and will never be played with. What a waste!
I am planning to wait until December to start shopping this year. I am going to hold out for those Amazon sales and I am going to set a GIFT LIMIT instead of a PRICE LIMIT. No more than 5 gifts per child. (Er, maybe. Maybe more like 8? I dunno. ITS A SICKNESS.) I have months to work out the number of gifts, so I’m not stressed about that.
Its the grandmas I’m worried about. I know that my mom will be fine with cutting back on the gifts for the kids. We’ve already talked about how out of hand this Christmas was, so I know she won’t be a problem. Its the other grandma I’m worried about.
She has this thing with presents. She wants her tree to be SURROUNDED by gifts. Gifts everywhere. Granted, she has 3 kids plus their wives and children to buy for, so it isn’t hard to surround her tree. She really does go way overboard though. This year I would like to tell her to limit herself to three gifts for each of my kids. I know she won’t like that. And I’m really not concerned about that. I mean THEY DON’T NEED THE CRAP! My dilemma? The cousin. There are three grandchildren and only two of them are mine. So how do I tell her to only buy my kids three gifts when I know that she will still feel compelled to buy more for her other grandkid? We all open presents at the same time and I don’t want my kids to feel left out or be jealous or whatever, but I don’t want them to grow up expecting $1000 Christmas’s every year either. Because seriously, y’all, a $1000 worth of toys is A LOT of toys.
What do I do? I don’t want to ask my brother-in-law to get in on this three gift limit with me, because 1.) I don’t think he will and 2.) I know he won’t and 3.) It seems kinda rude to ask him to tell his mom to limit his son’s gifts so that my kids aren’t left out. I can’t imagine that it would work out for them to open gifts at a different time, because the parents are divorced and so the day is split up between families as it is.
Any thoughts?
And yeah, I KNOW its February. I was doing dishes and thinking about an Amazon order I just placed and that got me thinking about how much I love Amazon and how great the sales were last Christmas and how I can’t wait for those sales this Christmas, but DUDE MY HOUSE IS OVERFLOWING WITH THE TOYS! And so here I am. Asking you for advice about a holiday that we are all sick of and is still 10 months away.
nan says:
Oh, I hear you! We struggled with the mountains of gifts for years. And the in laws were half the problem! Luckily for me, one of my husband’s cousins came up with the idea to pull names out of a hat and set a spending limit: instead of buying 15 damn gifts at $20, I now buy three at $60. We have kept that up for years now. With my mother-in-law, now that my boys are older, I get them to tell her something expensive that they want (she always asks!) so that she doesn’t go and buy 27 cheap bits of plastic. I notice that the other cousins got the 27 bits, but my kids were lavish in their gratitude (they are good at that) so she knows it’s okay!
Of course, we were bad too, but this year we bit the bullet and bought them much, much less. I was worried when we visited friends and family who had MOUNTAINS of gifts around the tree. Dunes of gifts, drifting. Our tree looked very poor, BUT we got a great new computer, with everything, for them. So their philosophy was “we got less but it was COOL!” I breathed a big sigh of relief! For stocking stuffers, I got stuff that they needed: cool stationery supplies, craft stuff, books, cool t-shirts, along with the usual matchbox cars etc.
I did have several talks with the boys during the year about quality vs quantity, and pointed out how some gifts from last year were broken immediately. I also warned them that Santa had one expensive special present for us and less smaller items… So they were not expecting mountains!
I think it was hardest for me, seeing how pretty other trees looked with their dunes. I was also worried that the kids would be disappointed. But they said, and I quote, “best Christmas ever!”
I could go on, but for a comment this is already ridiculous! Its just that WE DID IT! You can too!
nan’s last blog post..it was a looong weekend!
February 19th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Jerseygirl89 says:
One thing a friend of mine does (notice I didn’t say me because I’m just not that together and Lovebug has yet to really grasp Christmas anyway) is that after Christmas she has her kids go through their toys and choose some to bring to a children’s hospital or shelter. It won’t halt the gift giving but I’m sure it would increase their appreciation AND it would clear some toys out of your house.
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February 19th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Tootsie says:
Ooh, that’s tough. I don’t know if you can limit the MIL’s gifts without hurting her feelings.
I already know that is going to be an issue with my SIL. She is the consumate CONSUMER. She has so much crap in her house, and now with the kids, it’s unreal. It looks like TRU took a big dump in her family room. Way to much for kids who still drool.
My mom and I are on the same wavelength about this, but I know when my kids are older and comparing what they got to what their cousins got, it’s going to be an issue. But I’m sorry, they don’t need all that shit. Buttercup’s birthday present (notice the singular) is going to be something that my niece and nephew got ’cause it was Tuesday. Oh well.
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February 19th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Stephanie says:
Since you are homeschooling, how about asking for some educational things, toys, etc? Maybe they could give the kids passes to somewhere (like an amusement park, etc). At least that wouldn’t take up so much space.
Stephanie’s last blog post..Batman Birthday Party
February 19th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Mommycosm says:
OK, here’s what we do. Santa brings stockings and 3 gifts per child…mention the 3 wise men = 3 gifts. Mom and Dad give 1 gift each. I swear, that’s it.
We don’t limit grandparents or aunts/uncles from spoiling the kids. It’s their right. However, IF they ask at any point what the kids need/want, we take the opportunity to tell them that the kids have so many toys, perhaps one toy and a savings bond for their future would be a good idea. It worked pretty good this year.
Oh, and I always have a rule that if they give a gift with “some assembly required”, they are the ones who have to do the assembling;)
Mommycosm’s last blog post..On My Plate Today
February 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Zephra says:
Love the some assembly required = you do it idea.
We do one big gift per kid and a few small ones. I have a friend whose children get so much that most gifts stay unopened all year. They are so ungrateful too. They have come to expect many gifts.
It seems a shame that they have unopened gifts when some children have nothing. Give the in-laws a limit and tell them anything over will get donated to a shelter…better yet, have the kids tell them so that they understand the kids are in agreement (if they are). Also, do a good toy clean out just before Christmas. I put my good stuff up for grabs on craigslist.com
February 19th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Suzi says:
I don’t know that you can dictate gift giving without having the giver’s feelings getting bruised, but maybe you could make a suggestion that all of you (use “we” in this discussion) make a charitable donation instead of going overboard on gifts. If your mom enjoys buying toys, maybe she could take your kids on a special shopping trip to choose toys for Toys for Tots. My kids actually liked that when they were younger.
February 19th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
kelli in the mirror says:
My sister in law has a rule that big toys or things that make loud obnoxious noise have to go home with the giver so that the kids can enjoy them as a special treat when they go to visit that person. It makes people think about what they’re buying, because do you really want that shit in YOUR house?
I’d go for memberships to places. The zoo, museums, stuff like that. It’s a cool gift and doesn’t take up any space.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Lottifish says:
How about setting a limit with Grandma that is more than 3 but not an obnoxious amount and then starting a tradition with your kids to have them pick 3 or 4 toys each year to donate to needy kids. They could be new toys they open (or if this is too hard, they could get rid of some of their old toys to make room for the new ones?). This could teach them charity. Grandma could also give the kids money after a certain number of presents and you could just have an understanding with your kids that the money from Grandma is for them to buy needy kids presents.
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February 19th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
LifeAsIKnowIt says:
We always feel overwhelmed at Christmas too. My parents have cut back (which is good!) and we usually do a 6 or 7 gift limit per kid. They get overloaded with STUFF that they don’t need.
Good luck. Maybe your brother in law is feeling the same way and wouldn’t mind cutting back too?
LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..The Zen of WallPaper Removal
February 19th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
shuey6 says:
If she wants a mountain of gifts, tell her to wrap empty boxes! The kids won’t have a clue.
Or, tell her 1 gift for each of your kids, and then as many as she wants for her local church.
shuey6’s last blog post..Mail Call
February 19th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Pam says:
Hmm, that’s a hard one. If the kids were younger, I’d say leave 1/2 the presents wrapped and hidden and then pull them out at birthdays or good report card surprises etc but your kids’d be on to you, especially E.
We have the same problem here, Ian actually never opened his stocking! What a waste. Santa’s time and energy, all for nothing.
Tell Cleatus you need a playroom addition just for a the toys.
February 20th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Gail says:
The school that my son goes to is considered to be a “low income” school. They have some sort of program where people donate toys and stockings and send it home with as many kids as they can. That way, if they don’t get a big Christmas at home they’ll still have something. I thought it was kind of neat! I guess the teachers tell the people organizing what the kids are interested in (if they show a strong preference) and they try to match the donations up with the kids as best as they can.
I love all the ideas about donating to needy kids. I think we’ll start doing that this year as well. Christmas was a bit insane for us this year too with gifts…and we still have one Christmas to go with my mom!! Crazy, crazy stuffs.
Gail’s last blog post..Sunny and 65!
February 20th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Cherie says:
I think a good replacement for toys would be:
1. Like someone else mentioned, passes to a museum or zoo or something fun.
2. Money for them to save, perhaps
3. Books, because who can say no to books? And they are educational and don’t take up much room.
February 20th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Leslie says:
This year for Julia, I made a Christmas list for her and distributed it among the family members that wanted to give her a gift. I said it was because 1) we needed to be thrifty with our space (especially with the new baby coming) and that 2) she’s had so many duplicate gifs in years past. The real reason: she gets too many junky gifts from people outside the immediate family. Like Bratz dolls. So, I made a list. I laughed, told them I was anal and to please just appease me so my head didn’t pop off and roll under the Christmas tree. It really worked. I found that Julia doesn’t care so much about the AMOUNT of gifts. Once she gets the things she really wanted and asked for, it didn’t matter if there were 50 more gifts under the tree. I think it helped that when we talked about what she wanted for Christmas, I limited her list to 3-5 things. Above that, I chose educational toys I wanted for her, clothes, and other neccessities. I even had some family members pay for classes and activities as gifts rather than wrap something up for under the tree – that worked well for family that lived farther away.
I think if you approach the family with a “Hey, help me out with this too many toys problem…” they may be more understanding than you think.
Another great gift idea – if you want to eliminate clutter and toys – is to suggest a gift that is something you do rather than some physical toy. Tickets to a show or amusement park or science center or something. That’s something they could unwrap and be excited about on Christmas day, and really enjoy later.
Leslie’s last blog post..What’s Your Take On This?
February 21st, 2008 at 10:23 am
Misty says:
I am not at all sure how to advise you. We have the opposite problem here. My mom doesn’t pay much attention to our daughter and will do the obligatory $15 gift. My in-laws buy our daughter (if they remember to) a gift. She came into our family in 2003 and she has received 2 Christmas gifts and no birthday gifts from them…
HOWEVER, what i can relate to is that we go overboard. For years we lived away from family and so we spent the holiday with friends and their children got loads of gifts. We felt so bad for our Genny so we began overcompensating for everyone lacking… Now we spend far more than we should…
And I have no idea what to do about it!
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February 21st, 2008 at 1:44 pm