You know, its funny how different parents are. To let the child lick the spoon or not? People just have their opinions about it and they do what they wanna do. Sure, “they” say not to eat raw eggs because you could totally get sick and die, but some of us ignore that in favor of the deliciousness that is raw cookie dough.
Its kind of funny that I’m one of those people who will eat the raw egg. I have this thing about chicken. And by thing I mean ZOMG, THE RAW CHICKENS WILL KILL US ALL, TAKE COVER! I just don’t like to touch it. I don’t like to touch the package it comes in. I don’t like opening the package it comes in. I don’t like breathing the air anywhere near the raw chicken. I don’t like cooking the chicken, because what if I haven’t cooked it long enough?
One day last summer I grilled some chicken breasts and Cleatus devoured them. “Mm, this is so good! So juicy! Mm! Chicken! This is the best chicken ever!” I’m a damn good cook. Or, at least I was that one time last summer. You see, the chicken wasn’t extra special and the only thing I did different was decide that I myself did not want to eat chicken that night. Which meant that I did not have to cook the little chicky breasts for an hour until they were so dry you could almost call them chicken jerky. Juicy chicken = imminent death. Or something like that. I have no problems serving chicken that hasn’t been cooked to death so long as I am not planning on eating it. For some reason I associate juice with bloody salmonella juice and I just can’t choke it down.
Dry chicken is good once you get used to it. Really! Now, who wants to come over for dinner?
Speaking of dry chicken, I’m taking the kids to get their pictures today. (What does dry chicken have to do with anything?) I’m trusting you not to tell them, internets. If Cindy-Lu disfigures herself or gets a hold of a butter knife and takes it to her brother’s face I will blame you.
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If you have a free minute would you do me the biggest favor EVER? Click this here link and take the survey for me. It would be, like, sooooo totally cool of you. And I know how you like to be cool, internets.


13 Comments so far
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I, too, have Chronic Fear of Chicken.
You know what works, though? Getting one of those great big honkin’ bbq forks with the thermometer built into it… You pierce that chicken breast and take its temperature before you take it off the grill!! I am, at last, eating well-cooked chicken again, without it being all burnt up and dried out!! The “Big Fork” also has settings for other meats, and as a bonus, makes a good weapon to threaten husbands with, if they won’t get up off their behinds and set the table.
Good luck at pix today… I want to see the finished results, butter knife or no butter knife!!
xo CGF
candygirlflies’s last blog post..Fishing.
By candygirlflies on 03.14.08 7:51 am | Permalink
I don’t mind chicken, but I hate handling raw red meat. Blech.
I eat cookie dough too.
LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..My Week
By LifeAsIKnowIt on 03.14.08 8:46 am | Permalink
I’m the same way. Raw chicken freaks me out. Cookie dough though? YUM.
Off to take the survey…
Jackie’s last blog post..Sigh.
By Jackie on 03.14.08 12:52 pm | Permalink
Bwahhh, I HATE touching raw chicken. It really makes me feel so sick and scared. Husband used to want me to cook half-chickens and I would make him cut them in half. The only chicken I like to cook is the frozen boneless skinless kind from Costco…’cause it’s frozen. We eat chicken jerky too, so you guys aren’t the only ones. Ranch makes it better.
baseballmom’s last blog post..And so it begins
By baseballmom on 03.14.08 2:06 pm | Permalink
I wear gloves to cut up chicken. Then I sanitize the entire freakin’ kitchen -’cause you don’t know where a drop of raw chicken juice may have landed. Then I cook the chicken for 20 minutes longer than I should. And the cooky dough? Nope.
Cris’s last blog post..School rules
By Cris on 03.14.08 5:35 pm | Permalink
I’m not crazy about raw chicken either, but raw eggs? No problem. Cookie dough, brownie batter…bring it on!
I hope the pictures go well.
Leslie’s last blog post..I Am Not A Superhero. I Am A Human Being.
By Leslie on 03.14.08 6:04 pm | Permalink
See here is another reason that I don’t cook. I am so the kind of person who would wind up harming her family because of raw chicken issues. This is why I just use foods that have already been cooked and frozen.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Haiku Friday - A President
By Jerseygirl89 on 03.14.08 7:37 pm | Permalink
my mom used to defrost chicken by putting it in the package, on a kickboard, and letting it float around our swimming pool in the sun. no joke. we never got sick, but ewwwwwwwwww!
By shuey6 on 03.15.08 5:49 am | Permalink
I, too, am afraid of the CHICKEN DEATH. That is why I do not cook chicken in my home. EVER. No way, no how. I trot out to Sam’s Club every Sunday for a big fat rotisserie chicken. For a mere $4.98, you get a delicious meal, leftovers for sandwiches, even more leftovers for the dogs, and no one gets the CHICKEN DEATH that week.
It’s a bargain, any way you look at it, I think…
Miss Ann Thrope’s last blog post..The great and terrible “F” word…
By Miss Ann Thrope on 03.15.08 5:53 am | Permalink
Raw stuff doesn’t bother me too much but I do spray down everything in the kitchen too! I just don’t think about it. I always cook mine & the kiddos a bit more and leave FG’s more juicy. He likes it that way too so I figure hell, let him get sick then if he’s going to bitch about me serving it too dry! Thankfully, he never has though. I will join you for some chicken jerky though as that’s how I generally eat it!
Cheers!
I’ll take the survey when I have a few minutes AND when I’m not buzzin’ off one little glass of wine.
A Mom Anonymous’s last blog post..Ha ha ha! I’m a lightweight!
By A Mom Anonymous on 03.15.08 8:33 pm | Permalink
I so hate to touch raw chicken, beef, pork, anything that used to breathe. I do it, but make sure not to touch anything in the kitchen, as not to leave the icky germs on it, and I can’t WAIT to wash my hands. YUCK!
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..Oh I Forgive, I Just Never Forget
By Mrs. Schmitty on 03.16.08 6:55 am | Permalink
How did the pictures turn out?
Pam’s last blog post..I’ve Been A BAD BAD Girl
By Pam on 03.16.08 7:18 pm | Permalink
I can’t fathom juicy chicken….nothing makes me dry-heave more than cutting into chicken (or any meat for that matter) and have it lurch juicy awfulness all over my plate and onto my other food. And DONT EVEN think about having anything rare or medium rare around me….I’ll make those big girlie-men who sat there and gagged whilst watching *that* video (you know the one I’m talking about) look tame! Heave-ho! And then some.
Dry meat is just fine with me! That’s why God invented gravy! Besides, the dryer the meat, the more water you’ll drink and isn’t drinking more water a good thing? Or something like that anyhow.
Auds over at Spotted Dick’s last blog post..White Trash Child Abusers….Or Not?
By Auds over at Spotted Dick on 03.16.08 9:29 pm | Permalink
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