Let’s say that you homeschool your children and that the end of the school year is fast approaching. You need to start planning for next year and so you begin searching the internet for a suitable science program for your seven-almost-eight year old son who will be in the third grade come fall. You find one that you love.  You love it so much that if you could make babies with it you would. But then you realize that you have no idea which level of the program to order. Pre-Level 1 is for grades K-3, but it looks a little too easy. Level 1 is for grades 4-6, but it looks a little too hard. You debate and debate and debate and finally decide to order the harder one. After all, you DO have gorgeous, talented, GENIUS children. It should be a breeze.

After coming to your decision to order the more difficult science program (did I mention the program is CHEMISTRY followed by BIOLOGY followed by PHYSICS? All in one year?) you decide to go to bed.

While asleep you have a dream that you’ve decided to go back to high school. No, not college. High school. I don’t know why you have chosen to go to high school, maybe you are dumb. It really doesn’t matter why, what matters is that you are back in high school. Oh, did I mention that it’s report card day and your mother has accompanied you to school so that she can see your grades? Yes, yes. You are still an adult and you still have children of your own, but your mother has chosen to go to school with you so that she can see your report card. The report cards are passed out and your mother tries to grab it from you to see what your grades are, but you beg her to let you look first. You slowly open the envelope and pull out it out.

Math, Science, English, and History are all listed. Across from them? F, F, F, F. You have gotten straight F’s. You suck and your mom is gonna be so pissed.

When you wake up you realize that probably you are just a leetle bit stressed out about having to teach chemistry, biology, and physics to your child. You take some nice deep breaths to calm yourself down, but it doesn’t work. Because YOU ARE SCARED OF TEACHING THIRD GRADE YOU DUMB ASS. Seriously, what is wrong with you?

Gawd, you are dumb.

And hey, did anyone mention that it just gets harder from here? Because IT GETS HARDER FROM HERE. Next comes fourth grade, then fifth and before you know it you are teaching your 13 year old how to perform brain surgery on his father using tweezers and a butter knife. Or maybe just helping him disect a frog, I DON’T KNOW.

My point is this: Maybe this 2nd grade shit was easy-peasy, but it ain’t gonna be that way for long.