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It’s been 6 days without a post from me and, to be honest, I’m getting sick of that sweet little story about Cindy-Lu being at the top of my blog. Yeah, she’s sweet. You get it. NOW LET ME TELL YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT THE GIRL CHILD.
She is NOT sweet. She occasionally says sweet things and, sure, she IS cute. But the cute is only there to prevent you from hurting her. In fact, I have to keep her face washed and her hair neatly brushed and nice clothes on the child at all times, because if she isn’t ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS looking I might accidentally stab her.
Seriously. I don’t know what to do about the WHINING. It is constant. And I can not stand it. She knows what whining is and she knows that it is ANNOYING, because if you whine at her she asks you to stop. I have tried asking her to speak in a nice voice, but she just whines louder so that I have to scream over the whine to PLEASE SPEAK NICELY SO I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU. When she doesn’t stop whining after I have asked her to I have tried completely ignoring her. Can I just say that ignoring something that is just 3 feet tall and weighs about 40 pounds is not nearly as easy as it sounds. It is, in fact, IMPOSSIBLE. She follows me from room to room to ROOM and she never SHUTS THE FUCK UP with the whining that has now escalated to SCREAMING because MOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOM, YOU HAFFA LISTEN MEEEEEEEE! and then my ears are bleeding and I start cussing because MOTHERFUCK! I JUST MOPPED THE FLOOR AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT ALL THIS BLOOD? and then I head to the kitchen to find a knife with which to slit my wrists.
And now, dear internet, is the part where you jump in and tell me all about the MIRACLE that caused your child to stop whining. If possible please include ideas that do not involve me hiding in a closet with a bag of chocolate, because I’ve already tried that and all it does is make fat.
Cris says:
I’ve got nothing…but I did have to say this was damn funny to read! All I can say is somewhere along the line the whining changed to attitude - and it’s not any better than the whining was.
Cris’s last blog post..I’ve gone and moved
May 12th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Mrs. Schmitty says:
I’d love to help you, but I have yet to get my kids to stop their whining. If you get any advice, could you send it my way?
(I know, what fucking good am I, right? Sorry.)
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..Attention: Complaints Department
May 12th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Gretchen says:
Bourbon.
And about a month and a half of waiting until she moves onto something even more annoying.
We’ve moved from “mahhhhhhhhhhhhhhmeeeeeeeeeee” to “Why?” and “What do you mean?” and just plain ignoring anything I ask her to do. Wanna trade for a week or so? Bet mine would be perfectly well behaved with a “big brother” to idolize for a few days.
Seriously, the only thing that works for us is to tell her that if she doesn’t stop X behavior by the time we count down from five, she’s going to lose Y privilege. This sucks, sucks, sucks for us, because it means that some nights we have to try to get her to sleep with NO YouTube, No books, and No songs … but do that once or twice and the kid realizes you’re serious, and things rapidly improve. I’ve never seen a kid move so fast as when you threaten to take away YouTube if they’re not out of the tub in five seconds - I think she left skid marks and a little cloud behind her, just like RoadRunner.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Well, imagine that
May 12th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
feener says:
it is the pits huh. oh my sass says horrible things to me and screams and moans and just all around fussy pants. arrrghhhh.
feener’s last blog post..Mother’s Day, Carvel and my honeymoon was open bar
May 12th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
LK says:
Hmm . . . wish I had an answer for you. We’ve tried ignoring the Munchkin, putting her in time-out, taking things away, etc. Nothing really works for real, but we’ve discovered that if you tell her to stop whining and she ignores us, then we can tell her to go to her room until she’s ready to talk like a Big Girl. And if she either (a) ignores us or (b) starts whining again, it falls under “not listening to Mama and Papa,” which results in a 4-min time-out. A time-out that, I might add, doesn’t actually start until she SHUTS the FUCK up. Which has, in the past, resulted in 20 minutes on the Naughty Step, but whatever. It may not be a permanent solution, but it’s kept us from stabbing her so far.
LK’s last blog post..Well, Maybe I Am Changing My Name (and Other Topics of Note)
May 12th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
tracy says:
Wow! If you haven’t guessed, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about whining…. Honestly, some days I’d just rather my 4 year old girl child would just jam a hot knitting needle into my ear… to embed it deep in the soft, increasingly useless and runny, tissue of my brain.
Whining’s a bitch, no doubt about it. I feel for ya!
Great post… laughed out loud!
tracy’s last blog post..A Waterlogged Mother’s Day… With A Side of Ass
May 12th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Chris H says:
I can totally relate to this post Karly! Griffin whines something shocking.. ignoring does not work for long… as you know. I lock him in his room… with the promise to let him out when he is prepared to leave me alone! If he comes out and continues to whine, he goes right back in… and so on.. failing that I slap him on the bum.. it makes me feel better if nothing else! And then I call one of my big sons to come and give me some time out… and I leave the house! Kids will only continue to whine if it works… and obviously your she-devil finds it works! I also know that how cute they look only covers up how bloody awful they really can be! I am never fooled by an angelic face, NEVER…… I have raised 8 friggin ANGELS … I’m sure! lol
Chris H’s last blog post..HMMM, WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO TODAY?
May 12th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
the planet of janet says:
*snicker* i’m sorry, hon. i got nothin’ for you.
it doesn’t stop until they have their own children whining at them. and then they finally get it.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Fun Monday: What a jerk! edition
May 12th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Kristin says:
Yeah, I don’t have anything either. And wait~the whine turns to talking back. And then you’d rejoice in the whine. It all sucks.
Kristin’s last blog post..The weekend in review
May 13th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Jill (CDJ) says:
The only thing that works for me is to tell The Boy to use his “Big Boy” voice when he starts to whine. But we have a whole Big Boy theme going on around here that started when he was potty training and has continued after the baby was born. He takes being a Big Boy very seriously and doesn’t ever, EVER want to called a baby. So, yeah, it’s mean to call your kids names, but if the whining doesn’t stop I’ve been known to do it.
Good luck with that. Whining truly does suck!
Jill (CDJ)’s last blog post..bad hair day. i has one
May 13th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Jackie says:
Oh God! The whining! Can totally relate!
I tell my kids they’ll have to take a time out in their room, have to stay in bed, close the door (and then you don’t have to listen to it!) and they can come out when they’re ready to use their big girl/boy voice. I can’t say that it’s stopped the whining but it has helped a little… (they hate having to go to their room and be alone)
Jackie’s last blog post..Sigh.
May 13th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Karly says:
Cris, I’ve got whining AND attitude going right now. Am feeling rather homicidal.
May 13th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Karly says:
LK, I really need a house with steps. I like the term Naughty Step. Ha! I just send CL to the corner, but I think a step would be preferable. Then I could knock her down them if she didn’t shut up, right?
May 13th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Karly says:
Chris, You are totally right about the angelic faces. People always act shocked if I say CL is a brat…just because she LOOKS sweet, doesn’t make it true!
May 13th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Karly says:
Jill, I so wish that CL wanted to be a big girl. Instead, she prefers to be a baby so that she can poop in her diaper instead of on the toilet. She would love to be a baby if only I’d let her. Glad its working for you though. No stabbing at your house!
May 13th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Karly says:
Jackie, Must have husband install lock on all bedroom doors immediately.
May 13th, 2008 at 8:39 am
A Mom Anonymous says:
I’m looking for an answer too. I try everything - time out, asking her to use a better voice, telling her I can’t understand her when she whines, ignoring her, whining back at her, wine, wine and more wine to go with her whine!
A Mom Anonymous’s last blog post..Happy Bullets, oh and some recipes
May 13th, 2008 at 10:51 am
ali says:
my girls are ridiculous WHINERS. oh, and they follow me into whatever room i’m in.
it sucks. sorry…no advice. they are damn lucky they are cute. otherwise, they’d have been sent packing long ago…
ali’s last blog post..signs, signs, everywhere a sign…**
May 13th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Liz says:
No help on the whining but swiffer mops work on blood…if someone comes up with the miracle ’stop the whining’ cure fill me in!
May 13th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Vicky says:
I have nothing either. Let me know if someone does have a cure. God it is awful. After a really bad whining day I take the dog for a walk when my husband gets home so I get 20-30 minutes that day without any whining.
Vicky’s last blog post..Adventures
May 13th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
In the Trenches of Mommyhood says:
*Lurking with head lowered and whistling quietly because I too, have a WHINER.*
Answers people, we need ANSWERS!
In the Trenches of Mommyhood’s last blog post..WedgEZ Childproofing Tool
May 13th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
that girl says:
you just tell her you can’t understand her when she uses THAT VOICE and play-act as if she’s speaking a different language. Then when she uses the right tone, you’re all, “OOOhhhh, now I can hear you!” And then you bust open the liquor cabinet with a barbie doll and suck it. Cause that’s where I’m living right now!
that girl’s last blog post..Tackle it Tuesday
May 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Jennboree says:
There’s no miracle cure for whining, but there are different things to try. Depends completely on the day and level of whine pitch whether it’ll work.
I tell Bella that I can’t understand anything she’s saying when she speaks Russian. This makes her laugh and can usually end the whining for about 4 seconds.
I also count down from 5 and then she goes into time-out. We’re tough on time-out. It is always 5 minutes minimum.
Ever notice our precious darlings behave for their beloved Daddy?
May 13th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Lindsay says:
The last time I was visiting a good friend of mine she was complaining that her kids whine and I suddenly realized that mine don’t. So I told her that they didn’t, and now every second noise out of my 4 year old’s mouth is a high-pitched “ehEHHHHHHHHHHHHHn” or something similarly irritating. Karma is a bitch. I’ve been locking myself into a bedroom lately, which doesn’t totally drown out the noise, but keeps me from strangling anyone. Until I leave the locked room and find out what they’ve done in my absence.
Lindsay’s last blog post..Get You A Waxin’, Woman
May 13th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Leslie says:
I tell Julia, “I can’t understand you when you talk like that.” It works about as good as banging my head on the table.
Leslie’s last blog post..A Little Insight Into Why We Just Might End Up Like The Duggars
May 13th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
baseballmom says:
We’ve also progressed to attitude. At 6. And the 12 yr. old has the attitude too. In fact, when people say how cute Mr. 6 is, I want to reply, “Yes, there’s a reason for that…he’d be dead if he wasn’t.” Seriously. I feel your pain. The pre-teen eye rolling, GRRRRRRRRRing, and stomping out of the room is just as annoying. I’ll meet you in the closet with chocolate and Crown Royal shots whenever you say…
baseballmom’s last blog post..It’s hard, yo…
May 14th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Shannon says:
Hang in there sistah! They outgrow it when they’re, oh, 49 or something.
Shannon’s last blog post..a line in the sand
May 14th, 2008 at 8:47 pm