Where have I beeeeeeen? Why haven’t I pooooooosted? Don’t I love you anymooooooore? Quit yer whining. I’ve done enough of that for all of us. You see, I went on vacation last week. To a place WITHOUT wifi! Oh, the horrors!
I would have told you all that I was going, but I thought for sure that I would arrive, take a pretty picture of the mountains, and then load it up for you all to see, like SURPRISE! YOU THOUGHT I WAS AT HOME, BUT I’M NOT! You can imagine how I felt when I realized that I was stuck in a cabin with two children, one husband, and a lot of bugs for an ENTIRE WEEK without THE INTERNET. I didn’t even know that such places existed.
But, I’m back now. Are you ready for the onslaught of pictures? Becuase I sure am. I’ve been back since Saturday, but I was having some technical issues with photoshop and couldn’t play with my pictures and WHAT GOOD IS A BLOG POST ABOUT THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS WITHOUT PICTURES, I ASK YOU? No good at all, you answer me. So, my very helpful cousin helped me. Go say hi to him and thank him for making your life complete.
So, anyway, I drove for a hundred years and arrived here:
It was worth the drive.
We stayed here:
There was an actual roof, you just can’t see it because NEW CAMERA, DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK.
We arrived around four in the afternoon to no electricity. That sucked. Apparently it is not uncommon for downed lines in the mountains. Something about trees.
Yeah. Trees.
We headed in to town and checked everything out. We ate dinner, checked out the cool places, and posed in front of a fake waterfall.
You know that if you were in the mountains, you would only take pictures of fake waterfalls too.
It started drizzling, so we headed to the grocery store, stocked up on food, prayed that the power was on and headed back up the twisty, windy, SCARY mountain roads to our cabin that was ONE HUNDRED MILES FROM CIVILIZATION. Of course the power wasn’t back on and OF COURSE the rental company doesn’t provide flash lights or candles, so we hopped back in the van and drove about 5mph in the pitch black looking for our way back off of the mountain. We got lost. Bears ate us. The end.
Just kidding. We survived. We didn’t even drive off of a cliff. (Yet.) We were lost for so long that the power actually came back on before we had made it to the store for flashlights, so YAY! POWER!
The next day we decided to live off the land and eat the bugs and flowers and weeds that we could find in the forest. And by bugs, flowers, and weeds I mean hot dogs, buns, and s’mores. Cleatus did, however, have to forage around for fire wood in his slippers (his tennis shoes were wet from all the water rides we rode at Dollywood that day). I did things like take pictures and shout out helpful advice such as “Only you can prevent forest fires!” and “Don’t catch the forest on fire with that cigarette, you stupid smoker!” I’m supportive and helpful like that.
The slippers. They are divine.
My baby caught things on fire while I stood back and hyperventilated about many different things, including, but not limited to, the fire, the fire she was holding on a stick, the hot sticky marshmallow that was on fire, the bugs that were crawling by my toes, the drop off about five feet behind my daughter, and the fact that she was going to get to eat a s’more before me.
Nom nom nom.
I think two days worth of vacation pictures is enough for now, don’t you? I’ll be back with more tomorrow. Until then, oh how I’ve missed you internet. I’m just going to sit here a little longer and bask in the glow of my laptop.
Gina says:
That’s one of my favorite places. I’m glad you guys enjoyed it.
Gina’s last blog post..Working from Home: Not all it’s cracked up to be…
June 9th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
the planet of janet says:
there’s nothing like fake waterfalls to remind you that you’re in the country — with no wifi.
glad you had fun. glad you’re back.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Fun Monday: the I remember when edition
June 9th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
noble pig says:
Oh no, no wifi…that is a cruel and horrible trick…did you cry…a little?
noble pig’s last blog post..Suppa’ Clubbin’…..Again
June 9th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Much More Than A Mom says:
Glad you’re back!
Much More Than A Mom’s last blog post..Recipe Makeover – Hamburger Soup
June 9th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Katie-KD says:
Oh I missed you, but I told you in advance I would miss you so…
Anyhoo looks like a beautiful trip. That is my kind of camping, cabin and electricity. No tents tyvm. I don’t do tents. Not anymore, now that I have to do it sober and with children.
Glad you are back. Soak up the civilization and internet.
Katie-KD’s last blog post..Lizzard Grins–She is So Mental. (MMLM)
June 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Colleen says:
Glad you had a good time… even without internet. Is that really possible?
Colleen’s last blog post..Best Shot Monday – It’s about time!
June 9th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Auds at Barking Mad says:
Glad you’re back and in one piece…relatively anyhow.
I’m with Katie on the camping thing..we don’t even wanna GO THERE. Last time I attempted to put up a tent found me THREE HOURS LATER in a tree, having downed 2 margaritas and 3 Coronas – I tried to use the tree as a huge pole whereby the keep the tent erect. My former husband ( is there ANY question now why he is my FORMER husband!) sat back and watched, and laughed. Asshole!
I slept in the car that night.
Enjoyed the pics, looking forward to more.
Auds at Barking Mad’s last blog post..Make Me Laugh Monday: Baby Instructions
June 9th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Melissa says:
I cant wait to see more pictures. We love it there, cant wait to go back. And every year we take a picture in front of that fake waterfall too. And one year we did hike to see a real waterfall, I almost died in the process of that hike so we wont be doing that again! Glad you had a good time.
Melissa’s last blog post..Gladiator Ready ?
June 9th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Leslie says:
Looks like a great trip. I’m glad you’re back, though. I missed you.
Leslie’s last blog post..I’m In Love And It’s A Sunny Day
June 9th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
David King says:
That’s why I love AT&T, last time I was out in the middle of nowhere in a cabin and about to be sodomized I still had 5 bars, tethered it to my laptop, and uploaded pictures of the crazy man stalking me. Hey at least I had evidence
David King’s last blog post..Greatest inventions ever: Omega Paw Roll ‘n Clean Litter Box
June 10th, 2008 at 1:04 am
Josh Ozuna says:
Those are some very beautiful pictures you took of the smoky mountains. And great Photoshop work by you and your cousin. All I have is GIMP but I’m hoping to save up for Photoshop once I get a freaking JOB! It seems like nowhere in good old Pekin wants to hire a good looking first class kid such as myself to work at their fine fast food establishments for the summer.
My family also took a trip to the smoky mountains when I was younger but our cabin was not nearly as nice as yours and didn’t even come with electricity. It wasn’t my Idea, believe you me. There were some pretty interesting happenings on that trip too.
Best Wishes
Josh Ozuna’s last blog post..Links for 2008-06-09 [Digg]
June 10th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Kristin says:
I don’t camp much to my husband’s dismay. BUT, a nice cabin, with electricity, would be swell. I would appreciate wifi though because I am truly lost without my computer. How did you survive?
Kristin’s last blog post..Letters from Lawyers
June 10th, 2008 at 5:35 am
MommyCosm says:
Oh, jealous. We could use a little hiatus in the woods right now. I’d even welcome the lack of wifi. Just for a few days. My family, well, we all seem to be moving in opposite directions these days…an outdoor intervention might just be what we need…hmmm, I’m formulating a plan right now…
MommyCosm’s last blog post..Would You Rather…
June 10th, 2008 at 8:06 am
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