I’ve mentioned before that I tend to pee the bed when I eat too much watermelon. But, ya know, I don’t REALLY pee the bed. I mean not, like, EVERY time I eat watermelon. I have to eat a fair amount of watermelon for there to be any bladder issues. I know what I can handle and I just limit my watermelon eating to a few bites. BUT! Cleatus has been working third shift and ITS SUMMER and there is all this watermelon in my refrigerator begging to be eaten. I totally peed the bed the other night. And I didn’t even care. And I might do it again tonight. I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED.
Tomorrow is my husband’s family reunion. I hate these things. HATE THEM. Tomorrow is also a Renaissance Fair that only happens once a year and is TOTALLY something Eeyore would FREAK OUT ABOUT. He LURVES all things knight and castle and medieval-y. So yeah. FREE PASS! But then I started feeling guilty because everyone else thinks I am HORRIBLE, JUST HORRIBLE! for making Cleatus skip the family reunion to go to a Renaissance Fair. Am I horrible? BECAUSE, REALLY. Family reunion with the in-laws. WHO ENJOYS THAT?
My history and language arts curriculum for next year arrived today. And now I’m all excited to start school again. What the hell? We’ve been on summer break for three fucking weeks. I NEED MORE TIME. I will not get excited about school. School is not cool. Amen.
Cleatus and I went to this MAJOR garage sale today. A public school teacher of 25 years was retiring and selling off all her stuff and her sister, who has homeschooled for 20 years or so, was also selling some of her stuff. It was the biggest, most bad-assed garage sale ever.
Cleatus and I were out in public and stuff today. And he kept getting all sneaky and looking to see if anyone was looking at us and then he would GRAB MY BOOB. “Ya think anyone’s looking?” and then BAM! HANDFUL OF BOOB. I felt like a teenager. Minus the perky part.
Grey’s Anatomy blah blah am addicted blah blah dreamt of McDreamy last night blah blah blah yes really blah blah blah might need medical intervention blah blah for real not just because I want McDreamy to operate blah blah blah must surgically remove Netflix from my life blah blah blah LOOOOOOOVE.
Normally I would use bullets for a post like this, but I thought y’all might be sick of the bullets, so I decided to TRICK YOU. (And then tell you about it. I’M SO HONEST!) Are you sick of the bullets?
Today was Crazy Hair Day at VBS. Look.
Baby Jesus wept with joy.
Leslie says:
I hate family reunions, too. Dave’s family has one every August. I went twice. And now? I don’t go. Dave goes alone. Because I’m a bitch. I really big, flaming one. And I’m really okay with that.
Also garage sales ROCK.
And Dave is a public boob grabber, too. He actually seems to like it if someone sees him do it. He’s such a perv.
Leslie’s last blog post..They Say It’s Your Birthday
June 20th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
David King says:
All guys do the public boob grab, duh
David King’s last blog post..These are the people in your neighborhood
June 20th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Carol VR says:
You’d be banned from watermelon eating in my house…HEHEHE
Carol VR’s last blog post..Am I worth more dead?!?
June 20th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
noble pig says:
I am laughing so hard about the watermelon I can barely type.
noble pig’s last blog post..Does Practice Make Perfect?
June 21st, 2008 at 9:31 am
the planet of janet says:
bullet post with no bullets.
remarkable.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..All about me and mememememememes
June 21st, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Karly says:
Leslie, Dave is so dirty. I love that about him. And what excuse do you use for not going to the reunion? Headache? Stomache? Car accident? Or do you just admit that you don’t like family reunions? WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DO THIS AND I AM NOT?
June 21st, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Karly says:
But Carol, watermelon is just SO GOOD. And I change the sheets after I pee! No big deal! Really!
June 21st, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Karly says:
Noble Pig, You will not make me feel ashamed by pointing and laughing, ya jerk.
June 21st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Karly says:
Janet, I’m SO GOOD at bullet posts that I’m now doing them ALL BY MYSELF WITH NO BULLETS. It truly is remarkable. (If we are being honest here, something happened to wordpress and I couldn’t find the button for bullets so I pretended like it was on purpose. Don’t tell!)
June 21st, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Katie-KD says:
I posted bullets the other day. My brain is fried with all the garage sale and Caspian’s work going’s ons that I couldn’t really type anything cohesive.
Anyhoo LMAO at the pee and go be knights.
Katie-KD’s last blog post..Garage sales, Prozac, Parks, Comcast,Rodents and Black Lights.
June 21st, 2008 at 5:24 pm
The Beautiful Kind says:
How the hell are you supposed to leave a comment on a blog post like this? You talk about bedwetting, watermelon, family reunions, ren faire, formatting, garage sales, boob groping, and crazy hair colors. Eh, I’m adding you to my blogroll.
The Beautiful Kind’s last blog post..Deserving
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:15 am
Vicky says:
Oh my gawd the kids are so cute with their crazy hair. Nice shot too.
Vicky’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
June 22nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Karly says:
Katie,
Bullets are THE AWESOME. I love bullet posts and would probably turn every post into one if I didn’t think you guys would all leave me.
June 22nd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Karly says:
The Beautiful Kind,
Thanks for the add!
And the only tip I have for a comment on a post like this…leave a random fact! You’d fit right in with me!
June 22nd, 2008 at 8:31 pm
LifeAsIKnowIt says:
I love that picture!
LifeAsIKnowIt’s last blog post..Life’s First Ever GIVE AWAY
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 am
Jerseygirl89 says:
I love the hair.
Hot Guy does the boob grabbing too. I don’t know whether it shows passion or immaturity or both.
I like McSteamy. No wonder it took me so long to settle down.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..You Do It Too, Right?
June 23rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Lottifish says:
*Awesome hair colors. What brand did you use?
*and bullet points rock!
Lottifish’s last blog post..Stealing My Mom’s Funnies
June 24th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Dory says:
Have I mentioned lately how much I love your writing? Even the non-bullet-y, catching-you-up, posts?
You had me at “I peed the bed and I’m going to do it again”.
Dory’s last blog post..I think it would be a little leprechaun using my brain stem as a trampoline.
June 29th, 2008 at 4:15 pm