This should be National Ask Your Readers For Advice Week or something. Except that I’m dragging it into Week 2. I’m a needy one, aren’t I? But this next bit of advice that I need is a BIG ONE. Life or death even.
Spanking. Do you do it? Are you against it? Do you think that ALL forms of corporal punishment is child abuse? If you DON’T do it, then WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU ACT ALL SMUG AND SAY “TIME OUT” THEN I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR STUPID VAGINA.
My daughter is OUT OF CONTROL. Sure, she is generally well-behaved around other people. I can take her shopping or to visit family and she’ll be just naughty enough to be cute. She back talks just a little so that people laugh at her. At home, though, she is pure evil.
And she’s a bit of a crybaby, too.
When Eeyore was this age I would count to three and then put him in time out. Only I NEVER EVER NOT ONCE THAT I CAN REMEMBER got past 2. That boy listened. He still does. Not as well as he used to, but he is still the best behaved child I have EVER met.
And he has pretty eyes.
Cindy-Lu, on the other hand, doesn’t care how high you count. She will stand there and defiantly listen to you count while continuing to do what she wants to do. Or she’ll just completely ignore you. Either way, counting doesn’t scare her. Time out doesn’t really work either. I put her in time out and she just hops back down. I put her in the corner and she just turns around and walks away. I put her in her bedroom and she opens her door and walks out. I have actually put her in her room and held the door closed so that she couldn’t leave. I have seriously considered buying a lock for her door. Actually, I’m STILL considering that.
Cleatus is AGAINST spanking. Very against it. He doesn’t think a little swat on the butt is wrong, he just thinks that it would be too easy for someone used to spanking to stay in control and not hit too hard or too much. I agree that it would be VERRRRRRY difficult not to beat the living hell out of my sweet little girl, but I also think that, at this point, SHE NEEDS THE LIVING HELL BEAT OUT OF HER. Okay, no. I don’t really think that, but sometimes I do fantasize about it.
I have just started trying something new. I count to three and she ignores me. I put her in time out and she gets down. I tell her that I’m going to count to three and if she isn’t sitting back down I will spank her butt. She doesn’t sit down. I count and then lightly swat her butt. She continues ignoring me and I continue explaining that she needs to sit before I count to three or I will spank her again. On it continues and each time I spank her I do it a little harder than last time until it finally hurts and she listens to me. IS THIS WRONG? I don’t know. Maybe I should just spank her harder the first time so that I don’t have to go through all that. But, I want to give her a chance to sit. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. Naughty children are all new for me.
I would never hit her anywhere other than her butt, I would never hit her with anything other than my hand, I would never hit her hard enough to actually HURT her. Is spanking like that still wrong? I know a lot of people think it is, and thats not really what I want to debate here. I do enough of that with my husband.
What I want to know is how do I deal with this out of control child? WHAT DO I DO? Tell me, oh wise internets.
Cute? Yes. Well-behaved? No.
Gala says:
I have some ideas. Would take way to long to type them out here. I’m at work so I’ll try to get back to you later in the day.
Do I spank – very rarely. Spanking is done for ‘unsafe’ behavior – more to get their attention. Recently I’ve tried really hard to not want to smack my almost 9 yr old snotty mouth, smirky, glare and roll your eyes daughter. I’ve refrained. however, it is coming – if she doesn’t shape her shit up.
Gala’s last blog post..100 Reasons to Loose 100 Pounds
July 7th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Amanda Regan says:
I use a variety of “punishments” which range in severity depending on how bad the behaviour has been. It ranges from a time – out or no tv to a smack or loss of a favourite toy for a week.
Once self awareness and the desire to be seen as cool sets in you don’t even need to smack just a one finger tap on the bottom is embarassing enough to ensure my son is better behaved for a whole 10 minutes.
If you do threaten a punishment you have to see it through if needed. There’s no point in saying “if you don’t stop we’re going home” if you’ve driven 50 miles and wont be. Kids learn that a threat isn’t something to be taken seriously because most of the time they’re empty threats & won’t happen.
July 7th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Della says:
With my daughter I did the count the 3 then spank. I made sure to ALWAYS follow through on if I said 3, she got swatted (hard enough the first time that she noticed) It didn’t take long before I didn’t usually get past 2, with an occasional 3 when enough time had passed that she forgot what it felt like. That did lead to me having to swat her in public places I really didn’t want to, but it did work. I don’t believe in spanking for everything, but sometimes I do think it’s the only thing that works! Now that she’s older (7) I can usually threaten and have that work, cause she knows I’ll follow through! Like Amanda said, you have to pick something that you know you can follow through on. I know a woman who is ALWAYS threatening things that she can’t do, or threatening them several times before doing, so her son NEVER listens to her!
Above all, good luck with whatever you choose, and know that only you and Cleatus can decide what is right for your kids!
July 7th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Kristen says:
I can’t. I get too angry and would probably really hurt him. My husband spanks him though. There is a process and discussion and my husband makes it absolutely clear WHY this spanking is happening. Then there is a hug and comforting.
But yes, there is spanking. It BARELY happens anymore. But it does.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:21 am
kelli says:
I’m not against it, but I don’t do it that often. It works better to take stuff away from my daughter, like tv or one of her toys. Or the promise of dessert, although I know that’s not really the best tactic either.
Do you think she might behave better if there was a reward system in place? Whichever behavior is bugging you the most, when she stops herself from doing it or whatever, give her a sticker or something and when she gets a certain number she earns a prize? That doesn’t work for all kids, but maybe it would for her? Dunno.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:29 am
the planet of janet says:
ok. misbehaving is the result of several factors, including:
1. an attention bid (yes, it’s negative attention, but they don’t care. attention is attention.)
2. a plea (yes) for boundaries. children need limits. they crave them and they will push you until you break … or set limits.
so… i vote for a combination of answers:
1. look for the good behavior and SLOBBER OVER HER about it. stickers. praise. ice cream. whatever rocks her world. but catch her doing something good (or listening) and make it worth her while.
2. IF (big big IF) you can ignore the bad behavior, do it. do not give in to giving her attention for the bad stuff. i have a success story about this that is too long for your comments section. email me…
3. i am not a big believer in spanking. i have done it — and it has been necessary when i did. i think (my opinion only… and dont send child protective services after me) that you are in a situation where it might be necessary.
that being said: go for the swat that counts the FIRST time. the others are a tease … and a challenge to her. and that girl does love her a challenge.
good luck, hon. after surviving four kids and a step, i’m pretty secure in my advice here.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Fun Monday: the Gone Fishin’ edition
July 7th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Jackie says:
Totally can relate. My 6 y.o. daughter hates time out so that always works for her. And I very rarely have to put her in time out because she is very well behaved. She’s always been very conscious of disappointing mommy & daddy.
My 3 y.o. son on the other hand… he’s so much naughtier than my daughter would ever dream of being! I can only count on one hand the amount of times I’ve spanked him, but it has happened. I always feel awful about it afterward. Time outs just don’t seem to have the same effect on him though.
I totally agree with the consistency thing – don’t back down once you’ve told them what will happen. Besides that I’m feeling pretty helpless myself. I’ll be checking back to see what your other commenters have to say!
Jackie’s last blog post..Sigh.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Suzi says:
We tried spanking for a time with our oldest, but she was such a giant turd that when we’d spank her, she’s laugh and trash talk us. She’d go, Ha ha! You think that hurts? Obviously, you can’t spank a kid like that. We put a hook lock on the outside of her door, and she broke the door frame. This was all before she turned 4. I ended up making some “treat tickets.” I’d give her five each day, and anytime she acted like a jerk she had to give one back. If she still had one at the end of the day, we’d have ice cream or go feed the ducks or something fun. If she didn’t have a ticket left, no treat. That worked til she tired of our petty games. Incidentally, we worried that this personality indicated that she’d grow up to be a psychotic criminal, but that hasn’t happened. She’s just about 22, and while she’s still a smartass, she’s pretty pleasant and responsible, most days.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am
marie says:
There has been the occasional swat to the bottom, but only for really really bad behavior…running out the front door (we live on a busy street) just because she could, touching the stove after we told her not to (the swat to the hand was much friendlier than the burn she was going to get!), and the latest has been when my 4yo decided to SPIT right in my 3yo’s face, just because!!
We do a lot of counting to 3, time outs for as many minutes as years old they are (though this has gone longer when they are repeat offenders), sending them to their room to sit in bed for 5 minutes (or if they are just being crazy/crying/whining, until they calm down)
Some days, this all works great. Others it seems pointless because as soon as they are out of time out, they go right back to the behavior. I’ll be reading along to see what other people think. Could always use a better/improved/different game plan!!
marie’s last blog post..Party madness…
July 7th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Lindsay says:
I didn’t think I’d ever spank my kids. My kids were going to be well behaved little angels and it would never ever get to the point that I would have to do it. Then I gave birth to devil spawn. Spanking is usually reserved for really bad situations, but my four year old has taken to laughing in my face and saying “That didn’t hurt”. Then I either do it harder or Daddy gets a turn. No, I’m not proud but sometimes that is the ONLY thing that punishes him.
In terms of time-outs, a therapist we know recommended that instead of chasing him around to get him into time-out we just tell him to go into his time-out spot on his own and take away all stimulation (tv, toys that he takes, attention) until he goes in. It worked pretty much right away, but lately not so much. So I’m at a loss. Hoping school straightens him out
Lindsay’s last blog post..Why I (Sometimes) Buy Canadian.
July 7th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Suzanne says:
Yours sounds just like mine. Spanking doesn’t work. Time-outs don’t work. Taking favorite toys away does work. They usually go up on top of the fridge, although a few have ended up in the attic. He is already a big strong boy at 4 1/2, so I figured I’d better come up with some sort of consequence that didn’t involve anything physical on my part, something I could continue to do as he continues to grow.
July 7th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Karen Sugarpants says:
Man I’ll be watching this thread because Thomas is like Cindy-Lu and Dylan is like Eeyore. What’s with the 2nd kid?
So far counting has worked most of the time – he’s 4 tomorrow so maybe cuz he is older than Cindy-Lu?
He has had 1 spanking and remembers it well. When he is out of control, I get down in his face and make him look in my eyes. Then I calmly explain that if he doesn’t do/not do whatever it is I want, I will whip down his pants and spank his bum. I had to threaten it in the grocery store today and it worked. I never thought I’d spank, much less threaten it but ages 3-5 are frakking hard.
We also use time outs for when him and Dylan are out of hand, and take away things or send him to his room for minor infractions. Good luck!
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Karma
July 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
My daughter was like this. Nothing fazed her. She would ask to be spanked rather than put in her room (this was ages 3 and 4), so this was a big clue. I sent her to her room, or took away a favorite toy or treat.
She actually said calmly to me once when I was furious with her, “You can’t kill me.”
Good grief.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s last blog post..I Cheated on The Man with The Other Man
July 7th, 2008 at 10:55 am
In the Trenches of Mommyhood says:
Consistency is the key! And following through.
We do a lot of “if-thens” in the Trenches. I get down on their level, make them look me in the eyes (this is a total pain when I have to stop in the middle of what I’m doing) and say, “IF you do that (bad behavior) again, THEN you’re going to get a time out (or whatever consequence).
Children like to know what to expect. I find this method really works, although it’s time consuming and tiring and repetitive. But IT WORKS!
In the Trenches of Mommyhood’s last blog post..A Marriage Story
July 7th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Erin Marie says:
My daughter is 5 months, therefore, I know everything…
Don’t you watch Supernanny? (I watch far too much TV.) Skip the counting, give her one warning, then stick her in time out. And then, when she moves, put her back. And again. Rinse, repeat. It always works for Jo-Jo. Although, at the beginning of the episode, it takes like two hours for a 4 minutes time out.
Erin Marie’s last blog post..Stumbled Across This
July 7th, 2008 at 11:03 am
feener says:
please leave my vajajay out of this !!
i swear the time outs are a JOKE. i have spanked i don’t like it but seriously they need a swat to get them back in line. i think a responsible adult knows the difference btw a swat and something that would be considered abuse.
feener’s last blog post..Type A Mom
July 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am
that girl says:
I used to spank until I realized that I felt like crap every time. They seemed relieved somehow. I mean after a spanking how much worse can it get for them, right?
I spank if they run out in the street, or if the 2 year old opens the front door and goes out alone. They were spanked last week for jumping off a bunkbed.
My fave is to take away a toy they are playing with. Goes in the garage waaaay up high. No one gets hurt but I get a sadistic thrill.
Now please don’t pinch me in the… don’t pinch me.
that girl’s last blog post..Oh for the love of Sunday
July 7th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Mrs. Schmitty says:
This post couldn’t have been written at a better time. My 3 kids have been out of control the past few days. I guess all of the 4th festivities got to them. I hate to spank, but when I have exhausted every single avenue, I have had to use it. I make sure when I do, it’s not out of frustration or anger. I’ll give them a swat on their butt. That’s usually all it takes to get through to them. Then the rest of the day, I feel like shit. Ahhhh….motherhood.
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..This Hurts Me More Than It Does You
July 7th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Angel says:
You know those handy dandy new State Farm commercials where the catch phrase is “I’m sooo there.”
Well, I”m SOOOO there. My Monster is a) aptly named and b) living up to every fucking syllable! He does the EXACT same shit Cindy-lu is doing! Exactly.
Yes, we spank. We don’t use it as a control thing, we use it when we cannot say or threaten anything that affects him, which is usually often, so we spank, he cries, a lot and then settles down.
Angel’s last blog post..Lost and Found
July 7th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Zephra says:
I am a firm believer in spanking at a young age. Sometimes, it is the only way to get them to understand you are serious. I don’t start out light because then it becomes a game to them. You have to make it count the first time or you lose your power…and this is what it is, A power struggle.
You must not lose or you lose. Then next time they resist a little more until the becomes the tail wagging the dog so to speak. That being said I don’t use spanking as a first resort. Most of my kids could be reasoned with but there are those special times when they want to see how far they can push you.
if you chose not to go the spanking route then you can try things like:
-Taking away her things starting with her favorites. Get a basket and put said item into basket “jail” for however long you deem. This works very well and I use it for times when they refuse to pick up their toys.
-Get that lock for her door. It wont kill her…or a baby gate if she can not climb over.
-Time out does not start until she is in place and quiet. Every time she comes out or screams, it starts again.
I have a lot more diabolical ideas for older kids. Hated chores, “why I love my Sister/Brother” letters, and others come to mind.
Just so you know, 3 is way worse than 2. I don’t know how we got terrible 2’s and nothing for 3. 4 gets better though.
July 7th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Renzy says:
Bribery and stickers. Figure out something she wants more than anything to own. Set up a points and demerit system. Reward her for good behaviour but take away points for bad behaviour. Use stickers to track the progress. Have levels she can reach, so say 5 stickers gets her ice cream, 10 stickers gets her a Happy Meal, 20 stickers gets her a new computer game, have one at around 100 stickers that’s huge.
Or you could do my brother-in-laws method where priviledges are lost. I mean start with phone/tv/internet/going out and head right on down to the bedroom having nothing but a mattress and a blanket.
She’s not seeing your discipline as being discipline or punishment. You need to find something that will in some way “hurt” her, by denying her something. At the same time you need to reward her verbally when she is good.
Good luck! (Check out Dr Sears for some great advice on discipline!!)
July 7th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Shannon says:
Disclaimer: The following is my personal opinion and I am not AT ALL offended if people disagree with me as my personal opinion is continuously changing and evolving.
SO…I have spanked both my kids. I have used it as discipline when my kids are willfully defying me, and not just for random childish irresponsibility. I don’t think people are bad or abusive if they do it (well at least MOST people who do it aren’t). HOWEVER I am finding that more and more I simply can’t bring myself to do it. I no longer feel that I can in good conscience hit my kids. Even though it does feel satisfying at the time, and even if they really “deserve” it. It is contradictory to what I am trying to teach them about treating people and it seems to be fading out of my discipline techniques. I was spanked as a child. Yes I am fine. Yes, children who are spanked don’t necessarily turn out to be abusive people…blah blah blah. JUST MY OPINION, OK?
That being said, you are obviously dealing with a more strong-willed child for whom an order to stand in the corner for -erm- “moment of silent meditation and reflection” will not work. I don’t know exactly what I’d do in your situation, although I am also finding my second child more difficult to discipline than my first was. My suggestion would be that if you are going to use “time outs” (sorry, I had to use the word!) you are going to have to show her you mean it. If it means standing there and (gently but) physically forcing her to stand or sit for a minute or two then you should do it. If it means locking her in her room or taking away a toy or something, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re doing what you’re supposed to, as a good parent – teaching her that there are limits in life and she’s reached one. You shouldn’t feel bad for doing what it takes.
BUT…if you do plan on continuing spanking, I seriously think it should hurt enough the first time. I really feel that counting and “working up” to the real punishment just teaches kids that they should push you a little farther every time because the real punishment doesn’t come until I push 3 times. Know what I’m sayin’? You have to MEAN IT. Really, with any discipline, I think that’s huge – not giving in and following through with your threats. Those little buggers KNOW when you mean it and when you really don’t.
Hope this all wasn’t too pushy. Man, I hate to tell people what to do, but I JUST CAN’T RESIST A BLATANT REQUEST FOR ADVICE and I’m obviously not the only one! You sure know how to lure us in, you little vixen, you!
Shannon’s last blog post..never before have i found a british accent un-sexy!
July 7th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Nan says:
I spanked more with my first, less with my second, and hardly ever my third. I learned better techniques as I went along, basically. But I would hate to rule out spanking altogether! It has to Hurt the first time, and it’s best if you can’t think of a logical consequence to dole out. It’s a last resort. Plus, don’t spank often. It has to be a total shock and surprise. that way, when they see you reaching boiling point, they think “Hmmm, I think I will stop now!” Many people will cringe at that advice. It is so wrong!
Explain what is unacceptable behaviour.
It would be great if we could never spank our kids, but with my first I really didn’t know what to do and I just stuck with what I knew from my own upbringing… which was fine I think. Don’t spank if you’re really angry. And check out other techniques so that you have tricks up your sleeve. Love and Logic? Be consistent? Send the darlings off to boarding schoool? Valium in their breakfast cereal?
This morning I opened the papers and said “Hmm. Look, here’s a summer school nearby, not too expensive, math… comrehension… grammar…..” The boys immediately stopped bickering, snuck outside, and played sweetly for hours.
Nan’s last blog post..Testing…
July 7th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
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July 7th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Nikki says:
I live in South Africa, and although our Government is trying to banish good ‘ol corporal punishment, it is alive and well and I don’t think will ever NOT have it in our country.
Yes there are boundaries and limits to a spanking, but I was spanked as a child, and I am just fine. No emotional trauma, no scars, no claims of abuse, just a well adjusted citizen.
So yes, I say spank her if she’s out of control, just don’t do it in anger. Explain the reasons and then tap her bottom. I did it with my son and it’s amazing how the “naughty chemicals” in their little brains are connected to their tiny little bums.
July 8th, 2008 at 12:30 am
David King says:
BEAT HER FUCKING ASS – just kidding. My opinion: Cleatus is a slacked jawed yokel.
Heh, my real opinion is that it’s fine to spank her hardest you normally do the first time. Kids are hellaciously smart and know exactly what they’re doing – especially your daughter. Cleatus definitely lets her test the boundaries over what you probably, but that’s just the way dads are and that will never change, but in regards to your saying you want to give her a chance to sit, you have.. if you’ve asked her 2 or 3 times and she’s not responding, she knows what she’s doing because she’s again, incredibly smart, so if she already knows what she’s doing the next step would be to spank her – just my opinion though.
And in regards to my response on my blog, you’re a good daughter I was teasing! Your daughter on the other hand….
never mind
David King’s last blog post..Toys make everything feel better*
July 8th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Katie-KD says:
I gate bardolf in his room for time-outs. Muirne will sit in time-out, but bardolf escapes. Good luck.
Katie-KD’s last blog post..Tattoos–there is a reason that tough bikers get them..
July 8th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Jerseygirl89 says:
My thing against spanking is that I don’t want them to think hitting is okay ever. Which doesn’t mean that I haven’t smacked their hands on occasion.
Ironflower is also three and extremely strong-willed and independent. So we do LOTS of praise and rewards for appropriate behavior. That helped, but not enough (though it seems to work for her preschool teacher).
We’ve done reasoning, time outs, lost privileges to no avail. But lately I’ve stopped warnings, negotiations and the like – and I’ve stopped getting angry. I state the logical consequence once and then the discussion is over. If it means I force her to get dressed, or she goes to bed without a story because of her lousy attitude, then that’s what happens. She screams about it and I calmly remind her how her behavior lead to the consequence. Her attitude has gotten better in general, but her tantrums are huge when I enforce consequences immediately.
But I’m not yelling anymore and feeling more in control than I have since she was an infant.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Happy Birthday, Dad
July 8th, 2008 at 11:42 am
David King says:
Oh by the way in the cry baby picture expression + shirt = appropriate
hehe
David King’s last blog post..Toys make everything feel better*
July 8th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Leslie says:
We have a no hitting rule at our house and that applies to me, too. I don’t do spanking.
Positive reinforcement of good behavior and rewards are what have worked best for me. When Julia has been at her worst, we pull out a chart and give her the chance to earn smilies to get a reward; it has never failed to get her back in line.
Whatever you choose to do, just have faith that this will pass. You’re a good mom. You’ll get through it.
Leslie’s last blog post..The Wedding Quilt
July 8th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
amanda sue says:
…blah blah blah and my opinion on spanking is blah blah blah…
i don’t have anything to add here. just do what the other 30 comments suggest. but i wanted to say that cindy-lu is so stinkin’ adorable! i love her chubby cheeks!
amanda sue’s last blog post..The Truth
July 9th, 2008 at 8:11 am
An Iowa Mom says:
Okay, judging from the date of this post and the date of this comment … you get the idea of how behind reading my blogs I am. It sucks. I hate having 100 unread posts. It literally drives me batty.
ANYWAY – I usually spank if the behavior is dangerous. Running out in the street – spank on the butt. Reaching in to grab the fish out of the pond – spank on the butt. I want to get their attention and let them know that I am very very very serious.
Other than that, TIME OUT. Don’t you watch SuperNanny? If you don’t … you should. She places the child in time out and makes it clear why the child is being punished. If the kid gets up or out, she picks them up without saying a word and puts them back. Repeat as necessary. In last nights episode, it took the parents 3 and a half hours of doing this and the kid screaming crying before she finally gave in. And every time after that, the kid sat. Because she knew she was going to be made to REGARDLESS and that her parents were in control. Not her.
So, my answer. TIME OUT.
I would appreciate you letting me know when I can expect you to arrive to punch me in my vagina … I want to make sure my house is clean.
An Iowa Mom’s last blog post..Come On, People!
July 10th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Tracy D says:
I have two little boys that are crazy bad. We call them the Wingmen of Mayhem. If I did not spank them they would run crazy around here. That said…. we try to limit spanking. We have instituted time outs. When my 3 yo will not sit for time out I sit there and hol dhim in my lap and wrap my arms around him (facing away from me) I pin his arms and tell him he must sit still. Then I ignore him for the entire 3 minutes. Then I let him down. Usually he will sit still for time outs after that.
Spanking can be used (my opinion) in moderation without there being effects on the children. And yes, it is hard to keep control and not lose your tempre with them. Those are the times that I walk away.
Good luck.
Tracy D’s last blog post..Sharing the Wealth
July 14th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
LK says:
Interesting. My husband doesn’t believe in spanking but occasionally does it; I believe in spanking but never do it. This is primarily because “our” daughter is actually his daughter, my stepdaughter, and it’s really in my best interest to follow his wishes here. That being said, a well-timed, well-deserved, CONSISTENT spanking works. We’ve agreed on a quick squeeze to the trapezius muscle in the neck that’s hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to damage (actually, it’s nearly physically impossible to damage that muscle, hence why we chose it). The Munchkin gets exactly one warning per incident, i.e. “Stop [insert behavior] or you will get a trap squeeze.” And then we follow up on it. The key is to follow through on any threat and then be consistent with your standards and punishment. At least, this is what I’ve learned mothering a preschooler for the last seven months.
Failing this, go read Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson. And The Strong-Willed Child. I heart him and his books.
LK’s last blog post..RIP
July 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Can I Poke YOU In The Eye? | Wiping Up Snot says:
[...] MY BABY? I’ve turned her into a serial killer, that’s what. So, obviously, I’ve switched back to time outs. I might have to physically hold her in the chair for the three minutes she gets time [...]
July 28th, 2008 at 10:20 am