There are days that I wake up and the kids have let me sleep in, I don’t have any major commitments, the kids aren’t being overly whiny or needy, and it looks like it’s going to be a good day. And then I do my morning walk through of the house to pick things up and I notice the dining room chair sitting in front of the TV, left there by my husband after he finished playing a video game. I notice his shoes sitting in the middle of the living room floor and I pick them up and take them to the porch. I notice the bag of chips he had been eating last night left out on the counter, open and now stale, and I have to throw the half full bag in the garbage. I see his wet towel tossed over the chair in the office, his contact case sitting on the vanity in the bathroom, and his game controller strewn out across the floor.
There are days that I think to myself “Thank God we didn’t have any more kids, I never would have been able handle three kids AND my husband.”
There are days that I think to myself “Seriously? Does he think I am a fucking maid?”
There are days that I think to myself “I’ll just leave his shit wherever he left it and let him deal with it when he feels like it,” but then I am on edge all day long from trying to clean around his mess that I just end up picking it all up anyway.
There are days that I think to myself “I know his mother made him pick up after himself, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?”
But, most days? I think “Why doesn’t he have enough respect for me to just clean up after himself rather than leave it for me?”
He knows that I am the one that will be dealing with whatever he leaves laying around. He knows that I also have to pick up my own mess and that of our two children. He knows that I HATE to clean.
I know that he works more than forty hours a week, every week. I know that I don’t work outside of the home and my job is to keep the house clean. I also know that doing all the meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking, the dishes, the sweeping and mopping, the bathing and dressing and feeding and tending to children, the homeschooling, the bill paying, the being on top of everything and expected to remember who needs what when, the chauffeuring to various activities, the babysitting of our nephew three days a week and trying to keep Cindy-Lu and him from killing each other, and the general job of BEING A MOTHER AND WIFE should be MORE THAN ENOUGH to count as a full time job and I DO NOT NEED the extra work of cleaning up after a grown man.
There are days that I think to myself “I just can’t do this anymore.”
Vicky says:
I feel the same way some days. How long can one man ignore his boxers on the floor? Is it really that hard to put them in the hamper? I don’t have any advice to fixing the problem but I sympathize because I’m there too.
Vicky’s last blog post..Weekly Winners
July 15th, 2008 at 8:27 am
noble pig says:
I guess I shouldn’t complain but my hubby picks up after me than the other way around,,,that’s his personality though…but it would drive me crazy too.
noble pig’s last blog post..A Hole In My Yard
July 15th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Gail says:
I am so right there with you. Only add to the fact that last night hubby was awesome enough to play legos with the boys last night. Lots of legos. He put did have the boys put them away in the plastic tub but said plastic tub didn’t get put away. Yeah. While I was in the shower this morning I heard a wonderful crash…it was the tub of legos hitting the floor and spilling, adding to my list of things to deal with today.
Blah, Blah, BLAH!
OH, and we’re taking a trip to St.Louis in about 2 weeks for hubbys 10 year class reunion so I gotta deal with the planning and packing on top of everything else too. Joy!
Gail’s last blog post..Literal Thinker…Part 2…and 3
July 15th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Mrs. Schmitty says:
I hear you sistah! Mr. Schmitty is like my 4th child sometimes. He’s really great at helping me out, I know that. He does more than a lot of husbands I know. But I can’t stand the messes he leaves. He just drops things where ever he is standing.
Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..My Bionic Nose
July 15th, 2008 at 9:52 am
Tootsie says:
My husband is also incapable of putting things away. I put things away but don’t always remember where I put them. I used to consider this a fault of mine, but now I use it to my advantage. All his crap that he doesn’t put away will get put away by me, but I feel no obligation to remember where it is. I love to hear him complain about how I can’t remember where stuff is – I think it’s becoming an incentive for him to put his own crap away.
Tootsie’s last blog post..House Crush: the Charlie Brown xmas tree
July 15th, 2008 at 10:27 am
ali says:
oh, i have been there. when i was a stay at home mom…and i marched right out and got myself a cleaning lady. it saved my marriage
ali’s last blog post..memory is a gift. cherish it.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:34 am
An Iowa Mom says:
Yeah … I don’t think we get nearly the credit we deserve. Or enough time off.
Hey, wanna go on strike? We could do it together and document and blog when our house looks like day by day when we do NOTHING. Or maybe hour by hour … because it turns into a pit that fast if we’re not on top of it.
It could be like LIVE BLOGGING. HA!
An Iowa Mom’s last blog post..Sleep and Make Up
July 15th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Melizzard says:
Okay so around here I’m the one guilty of being the mess but you know what works on me. If I leave stuff laying around, the husband scoops it up – but he doesn’t put it away… he leaves it laying on my pillow or overflowing to my side of the bed so I must do something with it before sleeping. Granted sometimes I just through it on the floor beside the bed but most times I deal with it appropriately.
Melizzard’s last blog post..Old Navy – You’re the One That’s Not Cool.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:44 am
feener says:
oh I hear ya. mats is actually very good at cleaning up after himself most of the time AND since i feel like i am pretty messy i guess i don’t get upset actually i feel like i have NO right to get upset. however, the harder part for me is his lack of planning or enthusiam, i will get myself and both girls ready for the beach, i will pack food, change of clothes, sunscreen, i will chang them into their suits at the beach, take them to the potty, put on a swim diaper. while hubby puts in the wagon- a newspaper ??? to read at the beach ?? sometimes i sense him give up, b/c he will say where is the blank ? and i feel like screaming LOOK For it – i am not your mother !!!
feener’s last blog post..Amanda vs. Jenny & a little GREEN giveaway
July 15th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Shannon says:
My hubby is a pretty tidy, organized guy. But somehow, when he is not working (ie. the last 6 weeks) I have SO MUCH MORE picking up to do. I do not understand why he leaves a trail of papers and keys and garbage and dirty dishes everywhere he goes. I manage to pick up after myself and two kids every day, all day. But somehow he is helpless and cannot pick up after himself. Bizarre! I totally know where you’re coming form. I just make it abundantly clear that there will be NO comments on the state of the house unless the person making the comment has spent all day cleaning.
Shannon’s last blog post..you are now entering the twilight zone…
July 15th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Erin says:
I love my husband but it’s the little things that drive me nuts! He leaves crumbs on the counter, for some reason he can’t put dishes in the dishwasher even though it’s less than a foot away, he leaves dirty jeans on the floor right next to the hamper and he can’t remember where anything goes, ever!! We’ve gotten into big fights over these things and I finally had to ask myself if it was important enough to lose him over and, honestly, none of it is! I know it seems like he doesn’t respect you but the real problem is men are self-centered and they have a one-track mind! I really think they only capable of one thing at a time and, unfortunately, what’s important to us is usually not on their list! I hate hearing, “It’s a guy thing, they’re all like this, it’s in their DNA” but I think it’s true! Women can adjust and adapt and men can’t. They have to be taught through constant repetition and then of course they resent us for treating them like children! Sometimes I think I would be better off becoming a lesbian but I don’t *like* girl parts!
July 15th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
the planet of janet says:
oh yeah.
although sometimes my personal slovenliness makes him look like felix unger.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Weekly Winners: July 6-12, or the chronicles of Carl
July 15th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Maria says:
I am always upset by the same things my husband does. It comes down to a respect thing. I feel that he doesn’t respect all that I do because he works long, hard hours and when he leaves I am still in PJ’s making breakfast, when he comes home for the night the house is clean, kids are feed and everything is calm.
What he doesn’t realize is all that happened in the 12-15 hours he was gone.
You are not alone. We all suffer together. Sisters unite or something.
Maria’s last blog post..No Kindergarten for Us
July 15th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Shamelessly Sassy says:
I know exactly what you mean. This is a great post,and I can totally relate.
Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..Et tu, Brute?
July 15th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
BlueBella says:
This is why I sold my husband to medical science!
BlueBella’s last blog post..Because I’m Not Getting Any: Part II
July 15th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Leslie says:
I know what you mean. This evening, Dave actually balled up a candy wrapper and laid it on the counter above the trash can. What was so hard about opening the damn trash can hidey hole door and plopping that wrapper in there, huh?
But, not matter how bad Dave can be, my father is worse. OH.SO.MUCH.WORSE. He leaves cheese wrappers on the counter. Also, lunch meat and butter. He doesn’t close up the chips. He’ll eat the last of something and put the empty container away rather than throw it out. I almost always wake up to a wrecked kitchen. He leaves empty pop cans, swiss cake roll wrappers and banana peels on the arm of the recliner. Worst of all – he leaves the most disgusting things in the bathroom. Like skid marks on the toilet seat. And once? After he took a shower, there was “residue” in the drain that included corn. Now where I ask you could that have come from? HIS ASS, right?
And while I’m cleaning up after him, he’s taking naps. Given, he isn’t in the best of health, but COME ON.
The thing that keeps me going is knowing that I’m earning my place in heaven with every foul and revolting mess I clean.
Leslie’s last blog post..Get The Crane Ready. I’m 20 pounds From Being Trapped In My House.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Queen of Shake Shake says:
I know this feeling. Know! It! It has taken three years and more smackdowns than I can count to see even small changes for us. Sigh. Marriage sucks a lot of times.
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Does This Outfit Make Me Look Fat?
July 16th, 2008 at 6:08 am
Gina says:
I feel that way pretty much every day – like he doesn’t respect me. We both work full time – we both have renovation-related tasks every weekend, and yet I do all the cleaning, and most of the cooking, shopping and child care. And I’m not even asking him to do the cleaning – just to not make it harder for me by creating messes.
Gina’s last blog post..Please Unblock Me!
July 16th, 2008 at 6:26 am
Amanda Regan says:
I used to argue with hubby about leaving his crap everywhere but found there isn’t much I could say when he argued that:
1) he works 10 – 12 a day.
2) I don’t go to work so I’m at home all day.
3) I’m not perfect either.
I left everything where he dumped it for a whole week & when that didn’t work I put it all in a bin bag and put it in his closet. After I’d put 2 weeks worth of junk in the bag & he couldn’t find anything he soon got in the habit of picking up clothes etc although the empty mugs of tea & coffee are still an ongoing battle. It has gotten better.
Amanda Regan’s last blog post..Promises And Let Downs.
July 16th, 2008 at 7:27 am
Swistle says:
I HEAR YOU.
Swistle’s last blog post..Wednesday
July 16th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Much More Than A Mom says:
Amen. What is UP with that?
Much More Than A Mom’s last blog post..Pulling A Nicole
July 16th, 2008 at 8:25 pm