I’m not much of a haiku-er. I read Leslie’s haiku every day and I read a lot of haiku every Haiku Friday and my mom even bought me a little book with haiku about picking your nose and using your head for a bowling ball and I can’t even remember what all because my son stole it from me. I don’t, however, write very much haiku. Or any, if we’re being honest. That’s all about to change my friends. Leslie is having another Haiku Buckaroo contest and THIS TIME I’m on the ball enough to enter. In fact, I misread the contest date and panicked last Friday when I thought I had missed the deadline. Thankfully Leslie emailed me to tell me to quit freaking out because I still had time. I like Leslie. She’s smart.
Without further ado, I present my haiku:
Midnight Madden sale.
My husband was first in line.
He is such a dork.
****
Bathroom wall needs art.
Too bad my nail hit a pipe.
Don’t tell Cleatus.
****
Cleatus whines because
Sex is not often enough.
Is my blinker fixed?
****
History Channel.
Why does my son love it so?
Eeyore switched at birth?
****
And finally the reason why I don’t haiku:
Angsty poems fill pages
Of a notebook now forgotten.
High school ruined me.
That’s right. I used up all of my poetic abilities in high school writing crap like (OH DEAR GOD, I CAN NOT BELIEVE I AM PUTTING THIS ON THE INTERNET) this:
“Hidden tears, unspoken fears,
Memores of her, it’s all a blur.
You love her, but she won’t.
You love me, but you don’t.
Look me in the eyes,
Tell me beautiful lies.
Walk away, pretend your fine.
You won’t hear me say I’m losing my mind.
Hold my hand, do you understand?
Did you feel my love when our hands touched?
Her love for you is dead, it’s come to an end.
Yet it’s over for me and you, your love for her is true.”
That was a poem I wrote about Cleatus when I thought he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. The next day I wrote a poem about how he was in love with my best friend. And the next day? I wrote a poem about how we were destined to be together FOREVER. PUKE! Puke puke puke.
Ah, teenage hormones. How I miss those days.
Texan Mama says:
Oh, I had a composition notebook FILLED with ooey gooey poetry. I thought it was the BEST stuff anyone had written. I look back with the same feelings you do: puke puke puke.
Texan Mama’s last blog post..The Writing is On The Wall
August 13th, 2008 at 9:41 am
sam {temptingmama} says:
Hahahaha, the blinker one is by far my fave.
And I think I have TONS of those high school poems somewhere - I can’t believe you shared that on the internet!! LOL
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..Summer Lovin’: We’re Having a Giveway!
August 13th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Texan Mama says:
Hey and by the way what’s up with the comment luv - that post was written last wednesday.
Texan Mama’s last blog post..The Writing is On The Wall
August 13th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Amy says:
I found your blog a few months ago and I finally decided to comment. I’m 22 and don’t have kids yet, but nanny 50+ hours a week for 2 boys, so I feel like one.
I absolutely love your blog. Your honesty and humor are amazing. I’m going to “follow” you on twitter, so I wanted to introduce myself so I don’t look too creepy!
August 13th, 2008 at 10:11 am
noble pig says:
Seriously you are good…no puke hear, just laughter.
noble pigs last blog post..Another Giveaway!
August 13th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Mary O says:
I so have an embarassing notebook filled with dramatic poetry from high school.
Those teenage hormones sure kept life interesting, right?
Mary Os last blog post..Post-Vacation Wrap-Up
August 13th, 2008 at 10:42 am
baseballmom says:
I love the haikus, and I, too, have a notebook with those dramatic and oh-so-pukey high school poems. How funny!
baseballmoms last blog post..Bullety love
August 13th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Leslie says:
Oh, Karly! If I could zoom around the room like Tinkerbell, that’s exactly what I’d be doing right now because you - you entered my contest! I love all of your haiku. You are good at them! And I love your high school poetry. (I didn’t write poetry in high school. I kept a journal that details who I hate and why - oh, kind of like my blog is right now! Maybe I haven’t grown up as much as I thought.)
August 13th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Michelle says:
Wow! those are seriously good. and funny
Michelles last blog post..Contini Summer Staycation
August 13th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Jill (CDJ) says:
OMG! Plagiarist! I wrote a song almost exactly like that in jr high!! Think Debbie Gibson’s unrequited love. If I can find the shameful post I submitted for a Dork contest last year, I’ll totally send you the link, but here’s what I remember in the meantime:
I loved you
Once upon a time
But you loved her
She was always on your mind
(clap clap)
You were blind
You could not see reality
Hypnotized
She had you in a spell
That’s the first verse… you’ll have to do something nice to hear the rest
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..WTF? Wednesday
August 13th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Zephra says:
never did the embarrassing poetry thing. I was way too lazy.
Zephras last blog post..
August 13th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Mrs. Schmitty says:
And this is why I love you so much!!
P.S. My favorite: The blinker being fixed!! LOL
Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..Proof That I Am A Reincarnated Adolescent Boy
August 14th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Lani ~ The Wooden Porch says:
That is such a crack up, but how fun that you have a poem about your husband!! If I would’ve dated my husband while I was in HS, he would’ve wound up in jail because I was still in elementary school when he was in college.
Lani ~ The Wooden Porchs last blog post..Kids’ Snack Attack!
August 14th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Suzi says:
Oh, the angst! How glad are you that you never have to be a teenager again? It’s one of my greatest joys, knowing that.
Hey! I just noticed that you twitter! I’m following you.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
Hee hee. I would never post anything I wrote in high school. Some years ago at my mom’s I came across an old notebook of mine full of crap and completely ruined my impression of myself as having been SO mature.
Speaking of IMMATURE, visit my blog. I gave you an award.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..Shit-Faced Bats, Strippers, and Blog Bling
August 15th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Elaine@bloginmyeye says:
I think you found a great idea for the next contest…post your sappy high school poetry. I got plenty.
Elaine@bloginmyeyes last blog post..Fair photos
August 16th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Jerseygirl89 says:
Dude, I love your haiku. Your poetry, not so much. Although at least you are happily married to the object of all your angst - I have no idea where most of my poetry subjects are.
Jerseygirl89s last blog post..Careful What You Wish For
August 17th, 2008 at 3:14 pm