Waaaay back in April I wrote about my 2008 Shopping Trip Version 1.0 and 1.1. I am happy to announce that it is now time for the 2008 Shopping Trip Version 2.0, 2.1, and 2.2. You can’t even begin to guess how happy this makes me.
My mom, my aunt and I leave for Schaumburg, IL tomorrow morning to shop at The Streets of Woodfield and Woodfield Mall. On Sunday we’ll be heading up to Gurnee to shop the big outlet mall, Gurnee Mills. On Monday we’ll be back in Schaumburg spending our time eating Swedish meatballs and checking out the goodies in IKEA. To say I am excited is an understatement.
Of course, the last time we went I started my period the minute we walked in the hotel. Because that is what I do. For whatever reason, hotels make me bleed from the vagina.
You see, for about the past 5 years whenever I set foot in a hotel I immediately start my period. It doesn’t matter if I just finished it a week ago or I’m not due to start for another two weeks, my vagina is going to bleed.
Cleatus and I went to the Amana colonies for our anniversary a few years ago. We were just about there and I started. Cleatus and I went to Six Flags for the weekend a couple years ago and when we were getting ready to leave for the hotel I started. Cleatus and I have gotten multiple hotel rooms for multiple anniversaries and NO HOTEL SEX! Just blood!
(I did manage to spend a night away with Cleatus for my birthday this year with no blood, but I think that was because we were in some freaky, space-themed room (with a space ship bed!) (and black lights!) (also, no door on the bathroom!) (that part sucked!) and, apparently, my vagina doesn’t have a rule about bleeding in outerspace.)
Who wants to bet that I start my period the minute I walk in the hotel door tomorrow? Anyone?
KD @ A Bit Squirrelly says:
Okay that TOTALLY was me before my hyst. Now that I don’t have a uterus I am all good, though I don’t recommend getting yours removed.
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post..Proof that there needs to be a "Big Head" section
September 26th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Melizzard says:
I’m reading this and all I can think is “She can write this and post it for all the internet to see and yet she still maintains to her husband that girls don’t poop.” You are one complicated girl my friend.
Melizzards last blog post..Second Chances
September 26th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Texan Mama says:
so flippin hilarious. And, I want to see a picture of the “space room” that sounds so wierd. Why in the world would there be a space themed room in a hotel?
Texan Mamas last blog post..The Education of a Person, Part 1
September 26th, 2008 at 10:05 am
sam {temptingmama} says:
You are too much! LMAO!
I say Aunt Flow comes to visit while you’re in a hotel.
Stalk up friend!
September 26th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Cheryl says:
Me too!!! Honeymoon, anniversaries, Christmas trips, Thanksgiving trips, valentines day even if I don’t visit a hotel.ALWAYS! It’s some perverse birth control method.
September 26th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Shannon says:
I SO HEAR YOU. BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. BOO TO PERIODS. Do you take the pill? If so, have you ever tried taking it continuously without a break for your period? It’s supposed to allow you to skip your period. I have lots of friends who have done it without any problem. I tried and guess who had their period for 3 weeks straight after fucking with the pill? That would be me! So the very time when I had hoped to skip my period altogether was awash with menstrual flow. Lucky, lucky me.
Shannons last blog post..Where did I put that paper bag? I need to breathe into something.
September 26th, 2008 at 11:27 am
noble pig says:
Interesting. The minute I walk into a hotel, I am constipated.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Eternal Sunshine says:
I’m with Noble Pig. Something about being away from home - I don’t know.
Girl, this is funny stuff! It’s some sort of Murphy’s Law crap! Well, here’s hoping your Aunt doesn’t join you on your trip.
Eternal Sunshines last blog post..I got nothin’
September 26th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Eternal Sunshine says:
I don’t know how I missed the title of this post the first time I read through.
I’m probably gonna end up sorry I read this at work…
Eternal Sunshines last blog post..I got nothin’
September 26th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
carol at A Second Cup says:
Honestly the same thing has always (and I mean always) happened to me. I though I was the only one.
Things changed after our 23 year of marriage. Well lots of things changed and that was one of them.
I so admire you for using the V word in public. I have no trouble saying it. I just can’t type it.
carol at A Second Cups last blog post..Blogs Worth A Click: The Political Addition: Commenters Favorites
September 26th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Charlie says:
All I want to know is have you gotten your turn signal fixed for the trip?
September 26th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Michelle says:
I still can’t get past that space ship themed hotel room. What in Gods name made you stay there??
Don’t forget the tampons. That will at least decrease the likelihood you will start
Michelles last blog post..A Miracle. Really.
September 27th, 2008 at 7:43 am
That Girl says:
I vote no bleeding. I have a theory that talking about it makes it improbable. I’m like a scientist with zero credentials.
That Girls last blog post..Who Won the Debate?
September 27th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Nan says:
I can set my watch by my period, just about! pretty convenient.
September 27th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Yvonne says:
So we go to Europe this past spring to visit my son, and I’m gonna be smart and take the pill back to back so I don’t get my period there….right….so, you guessed it - bled for 3 weeks straight - nothing major, but just bothersome enough to have to try to buy another pack of Pads in the Netherlands, no less. Oh, and the weird thing is the color orange is like their “country color” or something - so each pad was wrapped in like this Halloween orange plastic! So weird - and so conspicuous!
Yvonnes last blog post..This Blows…
September 27th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
candygirlflies says:
Damn, Girl, I started mine, just READING this.
xo CGF
candygirlfliess last blog post..A Lesson in New Life Skills.
September 27th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
jerseygirl89 says:
Thank you for reminding me of one of the few things I actually like about being preggo.
I say that if you bring provisions, you won’t get your period. Especially since you’re shopping, not hoping for a wild time with Cleatus.
September 28th, 2008 at 9:10 am
the planet of janet says:
there ARE some advantages to menopause…
the planet of janets last blog post..Weekly Winners: September 21-27
September 28th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
baseballmom says:
OMFG, I thought it was just me who started her period for EVERY FUCKING VACATION. I swear, it happens every time. Camping is the worst. My kid and dog stop pooping every time we go camping…I wish I were them instead!
baseballmoms last blog post..Flashback Sunday
September 29th, 2008 at 1:21 am
Petra says:
Haha, that is so weird! I have a thing about getting my period on holidays. Like it’s not hard enough to deal with your relatives, throw some bleeding and female hormones in there and forget about it!
By the way, TAG! I tagged you for a meme over at my blog!
Petras last blog post..Perverts, Perverts Everywhere!
September 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Leslie says:
This is why I love breastfeeding. NO PERIOD.
I hope you had a fun, period-free trip and that you’ll come visit me at my blog, because I’ve missed you and it’s been so long, I’m starting to think you don’t like me anymore.
October 1st, 2008 at 8:55 am
Kaylen says:
This is hilarious- your vagina is not the only one on this no-hotel-fun-for-you kick…mine also can detect when I have any kind of camping trip planned!
Kaylens last blog post..Welcome Fall…Finally!
October 5th, 2008 at 12:27 am
bang says:
No way women bleed, we bleed. It’s natural we must be proud of it
bangs last blog post..Menstruation Horror Stories6-It’s a Dirty Job
October 16th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Busted says:
Holy sh*t this post made me snort with laughter!
I get my period before every major event in my life too. Ya know how you aren’t supposed to get your period while breastfeeding? bull sh*t! not only did I get it but I got it for 4 months straight after giving birth and now I get it every time I have any emotion! The only way to stop it is to be dead inside…so I am.
Busteds last blog post..I was a total b*tch to her yet she still wants to be my friend. meh?
November 6th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Funny Political Humor says:
I cannot say how right you are!!! These other people have failed to see your point. I am going to put a link on my blog back to you ok?
November 27th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
admin says:
work and travel Bu site ?ok g?zl
December 2nd, 2008 at 6:32 am
Travel Experiences says:
Very nice information. Thanks for this.
Travel Experiencess last blog post..To Complain or Not To Complain..
March 13th, 2009 at 2:52 am
India Hotels and Travel says:
Thank you, I really need to know this especially at this age. Hopefully I will be able to keep myself fit
March 24th, 2009 at 2:10 am