It’s Cleatus’s birthday, so to celebrate I ran out and got myself a speeding ticket. Because I am thoughtful like that. Then I headed to the grocery store and bought all the ingredients for a big ass cheesecake because Cleatus does not like cake, but loves cheesecake. And then I came home and started pulsing graham crackers in my food processor and mixing cream cheese and sugar and what not with my KitchenAid and, whoops, I accidentally dropped an egg into the KitchenAid. An egg that was still in it’s shell. A shell that was now blended up with the rest of the ingredients. At that point I was too invested in the cheesecake to throw it away so I went on a little treasure hunt and dug for itty bitty pieces of egg shell in the gooey mixture with my bare hands because GOD DAMN IT, IT IS CLEATUS’S BIRTHDAY AND HE IS GETTING A CHEESECAKE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. So then I was covered in cream cheese mixture and while I was trying to turn the faucet on with my face my ass somehow knocked the food processor off the counter and some little plastic piece flew across the kitchen and I’m not sure, but I think those plastic pieces are important, so maybe the food processor doesn’t work now.
Happy Birthday, Cleatus. Please get to work and make me some money so that I can pay for this speeding ticket and a new food processor, oh, and also? Chew carefully while enjoying your birthday cheesecake.
Shannon says:
*snort!* Uh – sorry about that! Those kind of days are only funny to someone else. I made up some birthday brownies for my husband’s 30th a few weeks ago which should be a big celebration and all but instead, we’re here where we know almost no one and he was working late (like he has been every day) and I had seriously just lit the candles and was about to take a goddamn digital picture of the cake so I could feel the kids pieces of it (because they would have lost their MINDS if I had sent them to bed without BIRTHDAY CAKE) when he walked in the door. So I was basically like “Oh hi. Happy Birthday and shit. Blow out the damn candles so we can eat some effing cake.” They never turn out the way I envision them in my mind!
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
KD @ A Bit Squirrelly says:
You and I live parallel lives Karly. Caspian loves cheescake and I break everything in my kitchen. It’s the thought that counts, right?
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post..Perspective Changes, One Year Ago Today
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Ashlie- Mommycosm says:
Um, WOW! Probably would’ve been easier and cheaper to just buy a damn cheesecake. Although you still could have gotten the speeding ticket.
Throw in some nuts or a skor bar, something that’s supposed to be crunchy. Strawberries? That might hide the egg shells.
Hope he survives his birthday cake…and that he enjoys his socks! That’ll teach you to do something nice.
Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..Giveaway Winners: Don’t Touch That!
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Nichole says:
There’s nothing like a brand spank’n new pair of socks on your feet.
When it rains, it pours, no?
This kind of shit happens to me on a weekly basis, I swear.
Nicholes last blog post..Say goodbye to maternity jeans!
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm
feener says:
and this is why i would have just bought the cheese cake
feeners last blog post..Teachers ???
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Kristin says:
The things we do for our spouses. geez. Ack.
Kristins last blog post..NO NO NO!
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:05 pm
An Iowa Mom says:
Socks?
Yes, socks are the perfect gift. For both man … and wife. Did you get the standard subscription to Playboy to go with them?
An Iowa Moms last blog post..Big Game
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Angie says:
LOL Great one, Karly. I see there’s no pictures to go with this one, though, which is kind of disappointing.
Angies last blog post..Still Waiting
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:30 pm
A Mom Anonymous says:
um, it’s the thought that counts?
How was shopping?
A Mom Anonymouss last blog post..Cross your fingers
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Mrs. Schmitty says:
Aw crap, now you’ll have to give him sex for his birthday. LOL! I can so picture that whole scene!! BWAAAHHHHHA!
Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..Check It Out
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Amy says:
This is one more reason why I ALWAYS buy cakes. I don’t even attempt to make them! This is surely a page out of my life!
Happy Birthday to him anyway!
Amys last blog post..Everyday Math Sucks
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana says:
Holy crap. OMG. Seriously poor guy. And Happy Birthday!
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvanas last blog post..Click. Crap.
October 2nd, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Texan Mama says:
ARe you sure that wasn’t just a ploy to get a new appliance?
Texan Mamas last blog post..The Education of a Person, Part 4B
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:28 pm
noble pig says:
Oh gawd that is hysterical but I want to know how the cake turned out? Did you bake it with the shells? Dis you say they were nuts? He-he.
noble pigs last blog post..They Don’t Bother Me
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:05 am
Kelley says:
Added calcium for his brittle old man bones I say!
And girl you cracked me up. Scarily it sounds like a lot of my baking escapades.
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:04 am
carol at A Second Cup says:
I’m scared to ask but how did the cake turn out?
carol at A Second Cups last blog post..Blogs Worth A Click: The Diet/Exercise Addition
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:28 am
Lindsay says:
The big question is, did you get your period for his birthday too? Cause that would have been the icing on the eggshell cheesecake. But not literally, ew.
Lindsays last blog post..Mmmmm Tofurkey
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:27 pm
sam {temptingmama} says:
Hahaha! Well… um.. happy Birthday Cleatus…
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:49 pm
baseballmom says:
Jeezus, that sucks! I love cheesecake, and any terrible thing that happens to it pains me! Anyway, how was the shopping?
baseballmoms last blog post..Flashback Friday
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Nan says:
Hee hee! Crack me up…
Nans last blog post..Where Are They Now?
October 4th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Christine says:
At least you made him a cake. A little eggshell never hurt anybody. =)
Christines last blog post..Project Runway: And then there were…
October 4th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Auds at Barking Mad says:
OMG that’s hilarious in a totally tragic kind of way. *snort*
You know, you can always justify the speeding ticket with Cleatus just by telling him you were in a rush to get all the ingredients for his cheesecake…even if it was a tad crunchy. Besides, fiber is good for the body, and egg shells count as fiber don’t they?
Well, don’t they?
October 4th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
I gave my husband a speeding ticket this weekend and it isn’t even his birthday. (bangs head on desk)
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..Subscribing
October 6th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
jerseygirl89 says:
This sounds like birthdays at my house. And that makes me very sorry for both of you.
jerseygirl89s last blog post..Never Been Kissed
October 7th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Leslie says:
Cleatus got the best birthday present – he got you. If he doesn’t appreciate you, I’ll take ya.
I gave Dave shoes for his birthday because he said, “I really need some shoes. You could get them for my birthday or something,” which I thought meant I’D LIKE TO HAVE SOME SHOES FOR MY BIRTHDAY. So, I got him shoes. He did not want shoes for his birthday.
Men are so complicated. I can’t figure them out.
October 16th, 2008 at 9:14 pm