The other night Cleatus and I were watching HBO and some show came on with a bunch of half naked ladies up on stage. Cleatus was extra excited about the free porn until he realized that some of the ladies were actually NOT and the audience’s job was to figure out who was male and who was female. Apparently, there is a SECRET TEST for determining gender. A male’s index finger is shorter than his ring finger and a female’s index finger is longer than her ring finger.
Guess what! I fail the test! I’m supposed to have a weiner!
I’m curious to know how many of you also fail. Am I truly a freak of nature or is this not a reliable way to determine gender?
Leave your answer in the comments. It’s my birthday so you have to. Because I’m the boss on my birthday. Oh, and after you leave the comment, come over here and clean my kitchen.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
Fellow March birthday here! And yes, I also fail that test. Where’s my penis?
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..It Starts Out Sweet
March 18th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Cherie says:
Happy birthday!
My ring finger is ever-so-slightly longer. So I guess I get just a TINY penis. But maybe I get to keep my boobs.
March 18th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Lora says:
Happy birthday!!
My index is about and inch shorter. Watch out ladies, I have a huge one!!!
Loras last blog post..happy birthday jake!
March 18th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Carrie says:
My index finger is also shorter than my ring finger! Hmmmmmm
March 18th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Rachel says:
I pass!!! Sorry, freaks!!!
Happy Birthday, Karly! I hope you get a weiner for your birthday!
March 18th, 2009 at 10:40 am
kristi says:
One of mine is longer and the other isn’t, so maybe I am a hermaphrodite???
kristis last blog post..Watch TC on You Tube
March 18th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Lisa says:
Kristi and I are on the same team. One of mine is longer and the other is shorter, but there’s not much difference. I don’t want to be a hermaphrodite! Frank but no beans? Beans but no frank?
March 18th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Aliceson says:
All woman here! I remember Maury Povich used to do shows like this. The audience would yell “that’s a man!” Happy Birthday!
Alicesons last blog post..Wardrobe Wednesday
March 18th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says:
I too, should be a man.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarahs last blog post..Cheese Powder
March 18th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake says:
My index finger is WAY shorter than my ring finger. This means my imaginary, metaphoric dick is absolutely HUGE. Like I’m an imaginary porn star huge. And you should see the size of my balls, too.
Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Come smell my blog butt
March 18th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Gina says:
Dude – I am totally a man. I’d wish you a Happy Birthday, but being a man, I have already forgotten all about your birthday. Besides, I have some underwear to leave on the bathroom floor now.
Ginas last blog post..My Weekend in Letters
March 18th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake says:
Oh, and happy birthday! We’re going to hang out this June when you come down this way, right? We can compare index fingers.
Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Come smell my blog butt
March 18th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Karelle says:
I fail too. Guess I’m really a dood.
Happy Birthday!
Karelles last blog post..Fascination
March 18th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
shoeaddict says:
Failed.
shoeaddicts last blog post..The Name Game
March 18th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Erika Jurney says:
Mine are basically the same length… Hmmm…
Happy Birthday!!
March 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Trenches of Mommyhood says:
Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuu…
(and I’m apparently a man.)
Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..Sad
March 18th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
NTE says:
I’m all girl, I guess. But I never would’ve known to check this way.
Happy Birthday!
NTEs last blog post..March TBR Challenge
March 18th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
much more than a mom says:
Total fail. On both hands. I’m a stallion.
much more than a moms last blog post..Ten Cup Cookies
March 18th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
del says:
Clearly I am confused, on one hand I am me (a little bit girly) and on the other hand I am a bloke. I don’t know whether to file my nails or scratch my balls?
Happy birthday
dels last blog post..Procrastinating
March 18th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Jenni Jiggety says:
Happy Birthday! I am happy to report that I pass!
Jenni Jiggetys last blog post..Wordful Wednesday! Hair Today…Gone Tomorrow
March 18th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Lottifish says:
My right hand passes the text but my left hand fails. I guess I’m gender-confused?
Happy Birthday!
March 18th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
kelli says:
I pass. My mom had to look three times and turn her hand over to check, but we decided she passes too.
And my birthday is Saturday, so if I clean your kitchen today you have to come over and clean mine then.
kellis last blog post..Poppyseed Chicken Casserole
March 18th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
anna see says:
happy birthday! my ring finger is slightly longer…… hmmmm.
anna sees last blog post..Express Yourself!
March 18th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
12ontheinside says:
I completely fail at that too. I did just check though, and I still don’t have a penis.
Happy birthday.
12ontheinsides last blog post..Oh, Noes!
March 18th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Cissy says:
Hmmm… I fail too. So where the heck is MY penis? It would make things so much easier to have one of my own!
March 18th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Cameron says:
I FAIL. I should have a vagina!! Apparently somebody knew that I WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE IF I HAD A VAGINA!!!
Happy Birthday!!
Camerons last blog post..I’m So Supportive (Get It?)
March 18th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
melissa says:
I fail on both hands. I wish I had that wiener to torture my husband with!
melissas last blog post..Neosporin Review
March 18th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
MamaBug says:
I fail, too. But not by much, so I guess I have BOTH Vagina and Penis envy. No wonder I’m in such a bad mood!
March 18th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Cassie says:
On my left hand there is a huge difference, on my right hand there is a small difference. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
March 18th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Texan Mama says:
I fail. I wish I didn’t, and I kept trying to twist my hands so I wouldn’t, but I do.
Who came up with that effin test? I think they must have just made it up to tell their male effeminate friend – “Look, you’re supposed to have a vagina because your index finger is longer than your ring finger. HA HA.” (inferred humiliation).
Whatev.
And, when did ya get the new digs? Me likey.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Keep Your Sanity This Spring Break
March 18th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Elisabeth says:
I totally fail. But I didnt measure by index finger vs ring finger length. I realized I had my hand in my britches as I was reading (k, so I’m kidding) bbut according to the test that could’ve so been true. Happy birthday girl! I hope you had fun!
March 18th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Zephra says:
Well I guess I am all woman. I cleaned your kitchen but I think someone messed it up again. Happy Birthday anyway.
Zephras last blog post..
March 18th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
the planet of janet says:
bo.gus.
either that or i was cheated out of my schlong.
the planet of janets last blog post..My mother, the pole dancer
March 18th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Mary says:
I’m a girlie-girl, but this does make me wonder what it means that my 2nd toe is longer than my big toe. Hmmmm.
Marys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Proof of Spring
March 18th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
baseballmom says:
I fail too-and Mary, I heard that if your second toe is longer, it means you’re a leader! Mine is too, by the way. Happy Birthday Karly!!!
baseballmoms last blog post..Paging Dr. Coach
March 19th, 2009 at 1:11 am
Carol VR says:
Phew…I pass!!!
Carol VRs last blog post..Dakota will be soooo excited….
March 19th, 2009 at 5:40 am
Ashlie- Mommycosm says:
Yeah, I should be sporting a penis. Thanks for that. LOL.
Hey, your birthday is 5 days before mine. If we lived closer, I’d suggest ditching the men and kids and celebrating over a couple of rounds of margaritas.
Happy Birthday
Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..Novel
March 19th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Melizzard says:
Dude someone stole my penis!
Melizzards last blog post..Hysterical Exacerbations, and by hysterical I don’t mean ROFL
March 19th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Della says:
Well, I am a woman, which is good, since I’ve given birth twice. However, my husband is, according to his hands, ALSO a woman!
From reading the comments, that is a ridiculous way to tell gender.
Dellas last blog post..Ben’s Words!
March 19th, 2009 at 8:42 am
A Mom Anonymous says:
Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!
A Mom Anonymouss last blog post..Menu Plan Monday
March 19th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Cheryl says:
hm….mine are the same on both hands.
Happy Birthday!
March 19th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Kara says:
I fail too. Happy Birthday.
March 19th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Michelle says:
Is your index finger the pointer one? I am spacing out here. If so, it is indeed shorter than my ring finger.
Happy Birthday to a fellow pisces!
March 19th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
patois says:
Happy birthday. Great trick to play on everyone.
patoiss last blog post..I Fought the Law and the Law Won
March 19th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Sheila says:
Thanks for this…My father would be so happy that he finally got another son…instead of the fourth girl!
March 19th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Lisa says:
What does it mean if your middle finger is WAAAY longer than your ring? That would be me. And happy birthday one day late; my momma’s birthday was yesterday also. And mine was the 12th. Go crazy ass Pisces chicks.
Lisas last blog post..My boys at Clemson
March 19th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Kelley says:
mine are exactly the same so that either makes me a hermaphrodite or a drag queen.
I am leaning towards drag queen. They are way funner.
Happy Birthday from a fellow March baby, mine was a week ago.
Kelleys last blog post..well this blog has turned into a sad sack of shit hasn’t it?
March 19th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
cc says:
Apparently my husband is gay. I wonder if I should tell him?
Happy Birthday!
ccs last blog post..Viking Run 2009
March 19th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Dory says:
I am apparently either a freak of nature or terribly confused. Probably both.
March 20th, 2009 at 5:49 am
'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why says:
Ya bunch of weinies! I’m a girlie girl.
I will be looking at people’s hands for a week and then snorting and laughing if their fingers don’t match their proclaimed gender!
Happy Birthday and thanks for the new hobby!
March 21st, 2009 at 1:50 am
Lexi says:
I’m also among the confused. On one hand it’s shorter; on the other, it’s longer. Weird….
Lexis last blog post..Stealing can be good.
March 21st, 2009 at 8:17 am
Jessica @ Bug and Bee says:
Mine are pretty darn close to the same, but my index finger is just a tad shorter. I guess I’m the wrong gender. Good to know. LOL
Jessica @ Bug and Bees last blog post..A Very Long Day
March 21st, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Musing says:
My index fingers are just a tad longer, so I’m barely female.
Hope you had a lovely birthday!
March 21st, 2009 at 2:52 pm
amanda says:
I fail and so did the hubs!
amandas last blog post..I am not a physic but I see trouble ahead!
March 21st, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Stacey says:
I’m happy to discover that I am, in fact, a chick.
Happy birthday!
March 22nd, 2009 at 6:45 am
recettes says:
excellent article, thank you
March 22nd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Nan says:
Coool! Does this mean I can sit about and scratch my balls and leave my socks on the floor? Excellent. Happy Birthday to you, awesome fellow Pisces Dude.
Nans last blog post..Our New Pet
March 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Auds at Barking Mad says:
What the fuck! I must be a hermaphrodite then because my left hand is all “Yep, you were supposed to be a dude!” and my right hand is all, “Shut up! I’m a girl!”
Yeah, I’m feeling so much better about myself now.
BTW, Happy belated birthday!
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am
Sarah says:
I fail! And I totally have no dangly bits in my pants…
Sarahs last blog post..Wistful Mechanisms
March 23rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
SCY says:
Erm, I failed too… think that might be an indication as to why I’m battling to get knocked up? Perhaps I’m really a guy??
SCYs last blog post..Where we’re at…
March 24th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Sci D says:
Wow, I was googling something today, and stumbled across your blog. There are so many things I could say… Have you ever read David Sedaris? I think you’d like him.
When it comes to fingers, this should explain your question: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090113.wlfinger13/BNStory/specialScienceandHealth/home
Apparently, when exposed to higher levels of testosterone prenatally, your ring finger ends up longer than your index finger. If the stock market weren’t tanking, I’d suggest all you women with longer 4Ds hit up wall street.
March 24th, 2009 at 10:18 am
corrin says:
We share the same birthday!!
And I passed. Phew!
corrins last blog post..No boring onsies here…
March 25th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Brian says:
Crap. Man-test FAIL.
Brians last blog post..I Can’t Draw Cats
March 28th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Leslie says:
Happy Birthday! Dude, I can’t believe I missed it.
I failed the test. I’m supposed to have a weiner, too!
March 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Christine says:
Happy Birthday, sorry I’m late. My ring finger is longer too.
April 19th, 2009 at 3:13 pm