- It has recently come to my attention that I’m, well, stupid. I don’t know how to pump gas. I mean, I do it once every two weeks, but I don’t do it RIGHT. I’m not sure what happened, because I swear on all the leftover Easter candy that I’m still eating oh-god-someone-stop-me that I used to be a very good gas pumper. In fact, when I first got my license, I used to pump gas DAILY. I’d steal a handful of quarters from my parent’s change jar every day and get a couple dollars worth of gas. I had a lot of practice with the gas pumping and I was darn good at it. Then I grew up and had enough money to fill my gas tank up and I only had to pump gas once every week or two and it’s like I forgot how to do it properly. I thought for sure that something was wrong with my old car, because every time I’d try to pump gas the pump would keep clicking off like the tank was full even though it was still practically empty. Then I bought the van and I had the same problem. I was happy to believe that I just had bad luck and my vehicles had faulty gas tanks, but the other day I took Cleatus’s car somewhere and stopped for gas along the way. Either the gas tank in his car is broken or I’m a total idiot.
- I had a garage sale on Saturday. Remind me to not do that again, mkay? By the time I priced everything, hauled everything out, set it all up, put it all away so it wouldn’t get rained on, put it back out, put it back in, cursed the rain clouds and prayed that people would still show up, I had pretty much decided that life was no longer worth living.
- I completely forgot that I don’t have a crafty bone in my body and I went out and bought a dress pattern and some fabric and I’m going SEW MY DAUGHTER A DRESS. If Jennifer can do it, so can I. Never mind the fact that I have never even been in the same room as a sewing machine before, I’m quite certain I can sew my child a dress. You push some fabric under a needle that goes up and down and then you, what, cut it into the shape you want? It’ll be fine. I’ll be good at this. Besides, it’s not like I can’t just use superglue if I don’t get the hang of the sewing machine.
- Who ate all my damn cookies*? (Me.)
And, Boy, Were They Good.*
April 26, 2009
tonya says:
yeah, if you figure out the gas thing, please let me know cause either i have a broken van too or i do not know how to pump gas myself.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Joel says:
I’m takin’ a big risk here, ladies. It’s possible that you’re playing an elaborate game of “sarcasm” here and I’m going to be blowing in the wind as the sucker who doesn’t get the joke. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Your gas tanks aren’t broken. New gas pumps (I’m thinking in the past five to seven years or so) have a mechanism that is supposed to keep people from overfilling the tank (I think it’s because Oprah told them that cell phones make gas tanks explode, I’m not sure). Anyway, this little mechanism clicks the pump off if it gets any blow-back (that’s a technical term) so when you squeeze the trigger you have to squeeze softer than full blast or the thing splashes back against itself and believes that you have a full tank and are in imminent danger of blowing up the gas station with your cell phone.
Happy gas pumping!
P.S. I love you blog. I found it a few days ago from “Outnumbered” Facebook follow list. Glad I did.
Joels last blog post..2009 NBA Playoffs Week 1 Wrapup
April 26th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Joel says:
On a different note, my site is hosted with Mobile Me, and your “CommentLuv” plugin doesn’t seem to like it. I’ve used it on other sites, but here I had to use a bit.ly shortened version. Did get it to work though!
Joels last blog post..2009 NBA Playoffs Week 1 Wrapup
April 26th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Jennifer W. says:
Umm, I was pretty sure I was slipping into an early dementia about that whole gas pumping thing until 4 days ago. I usually just slam the disgusting pump into the tank and let it run but that has not been working for way too long. Finally realized (after a lot of cursing and glares from the minivan across from me) that you have to angle and shove the pump into your tank just right. If it doesn’t have some sort of seal or detects any gas coming back into the pump it shuts off. Hence my charges for $1.86 of gas at three different stations before I got myself a full tank. Damn the man. And good luck pumping.
Jennifer W.s last blog post..These days be a whirl of winds
April 26th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
anna see says:
Yard sales stink! I am the cheapest person on earth, but having a yard sale sucks the very life out of me. I’d much, much rather donate everything than do all that sorting and dragging and schmoozing, etc.
anna sees last blog post..The SAG Awards
April 26th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Zephra says:
Oh Lord. I can’t wait to see the dress.
Zephras last blog post..
April 26th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Secret Mom Thoughts says:
I’m with you on the yard sale. I’m just going to donate stuff. Yard sales are too much work.
I think I can sew too, although I haven’t done any since 7th grade home ec. I’m planning on making my kids capes. Now if I can just figure out how to load the thread…
April 27th, 2009 at 5:20 am
Gail says:
The gas thing is just wierd…but I agree with the the angle thing. Next time you go to pump gas…don’t put the nozzle in quite all the way. *should* work fine…
April 27th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Shannon says:
I’ve had the gas pumping problem too. It’s something to do with the angle of the nozzle to the sensor or something (now that sounded dirty, didn’t it?). I eventually figured it out but not without many curse-ridden fillups.
Shannons last blog post..Mindless Friday Fun
April 27th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Jill (CDJ) says:
I’m having a garage sale this summer. Is that a bad idea? Will you come help me with it? I’ll buy you candy!
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..Whatcha makin’? Vol 1
April 27th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Mrs Soup says:
See, that’s why you must move to Oregon. *nods* We have people pump our gas for us. The lovely environmental hippies made it illegal to pump your own gas, with the exception of motorcycles and diesel. So I’m almost 30 and can count the times I’ve pumped my own gas on one hand.
And no, gas is not more expensive. Neither do we need to tip the guy.
April 27th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake says:
You know, I know Jennifer personally and, how do I put this? I don’t think anyone actually *saw* her sew that dress.
It’s just like that Eggplant parmesan recipe she made that she raved and raved about. But when I pestered her to make it for me, she was suddenly so busy! Uh huh.
Moral of the story? Don’t beat your self up if you don’t make the dress. I’m waiting for a video of Jennifer actually sewing and haven’t seen it yet!
April 27th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Nan says:
Oh my. Step AWAY from the sewing machine.
Nans last blog post..So Far, So Good…
April 27th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Amber says:
I hate pumping gas. It’s why my husband does it for me. However, since he’s gone until June I’ve had to do it myself and I’m not any good at it. I always stand in front of the pumps like an idiot as though someone is going to leap out and ask if I need help.
Good luck with sewing. I’m not even going to attempt sewing. I sewed in home ec and nearly sewed my fingers together so I’ve sort of been traumatized…
Ambers last blog post..The Glamour Shots Experience
April 27th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
SCY says:
Thank God we don’t have to pump our own gas here in SA – we’re spoilt and have workers who work at the gas stations who do it for us…
Good luck with the sewing – I suck at sewing!!
xxx
SCYs last blog post..5 Years
April 28th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Jackie says:
I was having the problem with the gas pumping about a year ago too so I asked my husband about it. Apparently you’re not suppose to shove the nozzle all the way in (said in a tone like “duh, woman, you’ve been pumping gas all these years and you didn’t know that!?”) You need to pull it out a bit (God, this all sounds so dirty.) I could have done without the attitude but he was right – I haven’t had any problems since.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:30 am
MamaBug says:
Ah, Oregon…where I don’t ever have to get my fat butt outta the car and touch the pump handle. I just open my window really wide for the contact-high
April 28th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Leslie says:
Remember that part in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when he makes his Santa suit? That’s what I imagine when I think of you sewing that dress.
Not that you’re at all Grinchy.
Leslies last blog post..I Used To Read A Book Each Week, But Now…
May 3rd, 2009 at 6:49 pm