So, it appears that in less than two weeks I am going to be heading to Chicago to actually MEET other bloggers. I know, it’s weird. I generally don’t LIKE people and here I am, heading off to hang out with a bunch of them for 5 days! I must be insane.
Before I leave on my trip, I thought it’d be best to make a list of facts that you all should know about me. These will be handy if you are at BlogHer and wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.
1. When I try to picture a blogger in my head, I usually picture her somewhat skinny. Don’t picture me that way. I look skinnier in your head than I do in real life.
2. When I get nervous, I spill things all over myself. I swear that I am bringing clean clothes with me, they just probably won’t look that way when you meet me. Be prepared to find me with food and drink dripped all down the front of my clothes. It’s just how I roll.
3. I’m probably not actually going to be missing my children at all. I homeschool, okay? I see a lot of them.
4. I’m going to be wearing Spanx. Also, I’m going to be drinking a lot. When I drink a lot, I tend to pee. If you happen to be in the bathroom and hear someone falling over and cussing and coming out with bruises, it’s probably me. Getting Spanx off to pee while drunk is not something that can be done gracefully, okay?
5. I’m not graceful even when I’m sober.
6. When I am on my period I am super clumsy. I drop things, I trip over things, I bump into stuff. I normally wouldn’t be on my period the week of BlogHer, but remember: I bleed when I go to hotels.
7. My roommate for Wednesday night is Jill from Charming and Delightful. My roommate for the rest of the trip is Leslie from My Mommy’s Place. These two ladies should be warned that I sleep naked. Except when I’m on my period. So they have nothing to worry about.
8. I am unbelievably excited to be attending BlogHer this year, not because of all the alcohol or the parties or the swag, but because I really want to meet all of you. If you’re going, please please please leave me a comment so that I know to look for you.
10. I was also invited to attend the “What Women Want: Tech & Quality Event” by Ford. I’m going to be touring their plant (I hope to hell I don’t have to wear a hard hat.), trying out their Active Park Assist (You push a button! And it parallel parks for you!) and test driving the Ford Fusion! Ford would like to know what women want (hence the name) in a vehicle. Leave me a comment and let me know what YOU want and I’ll let Ford know. (Me: I want the little GPS dashboard screen in more vehicles. So handy! Need one!)
So, uh, I guess that’s it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go shop for some shoes to wear to BlogHer. I neeeeeed some shoes, man.
Karen Sugarpants says:
Yay! I didn’t know you were going! That’s awesome…I’ll be rooming with Sam and hope you’ll look for us! xoxo
July 14th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Mommy-of-Three says:
sounds like a lot of fun! Hope you have a great time, I’m sure you’re really looking forward to it!
As far as the car question…I drive an Infiniti, and my favorite feature is the keyless entry and ignition- nothing better than NOT having to dig around in my purse to find keys while simultaneously juggling three kids and groceries!
July 14th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Jill says:
Can’t wait!! You sound like my kind of freak!
July 14th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Auds at Barking Mad says:
I hope you have a blast at BlogHer…as for me, beginning at 5AM tomorrow morning, I am packing the Barking Mad Mobile up and Meg and I are heading down to VA for Blog Fest. It’s a teeny tiny gathering of some of my favourite bloggers (hosted by Chesapeake Bay Woman and Big Hair Envy, I’d hyperlink, but I have no clue how to do that in comments), just hanging out, boating, swimming, kayaking and talking about blogs, blogging and all sorts of things. Did I mention the frosty adult beverages? No? Well yeah, lots of those will be on hand as well. Being that I am a social midget, this was much more doable for me, rather than Blog Her.
As far as Ford and what I want? If they could somehow merge a F150 and a Volvo (they own or used to own Volvo) XC70 and make it not look daft, then I’d be all over that shit!
Have a great time Karly! Oh and take lots of pics!
July 14th, 2009 at 10:47 am
MamaBug says:
Well, shoot. I’m having fun-envy! I hope y’all have a great time and you meet lots of fun ladies to party with. oh, and talk blogs with.
As for what I want in a car? I want a Honda minivan hybrid. They have them in Japan, let’s get ‘em over here. I’d probably trade in my Odyssey for a Ford minivan hybrid if they made one.
July 14th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Michelle says:
So cool! I am not a “real” blogger, so won’t be attending. I wish i was though so I could meet you. Can’t wait to read your follow up posts.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Aunt Becky says:
Dude. I can’t back out, can I?
July 14th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
anna see says:
Have a great time! I am VERY much looking forward to your post BlogHer posts. Am cracking up about the spanx thing. I would need pliers to get those back on after peeing. Good luck!
July 14th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Melissa Multitasking Mama says:
I am going to BlogHer and look forward to meeting you (hopefully!) If nothing else we will probably bump into each other in the bathroom. I pee a lot…just because LOL
July 14th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Jessica @ Bug and Bee says:
I should have signed up to go to Blogger given I live in Chicago. I’m an idiot.
July 14th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Secret Mom Thoughts says:
I wish I was going. Have a rum and diet coke for me.
July 14th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
priscilla says:
You sound like a lot of fun
I just joined the blog circle so no blogher for me.(not blogging but following and commmenting and hoping for followers)
July 14th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Nan says:
I’m not going. *sulks*
July 14th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
SCY says:
Enjoy it
July 15th, 2009 at 8:27 am
corrin says:
So jealous you got invited to the Ford event. Companies never want anything to do with us barren women.
I’ll be there Friday night schmoozing and Saturday for sessions!
July 15th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Zephra says:
I want a freakin place to put a trash can!!! And I wish they would find a way to make my seat belt stop creeping over my boob and ending up on my neck. Also, sound proof back seats so I don’t have to hear the kids.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
sam {temptingmama} says:
Yay!! Can’t wait to meet you!!
xo
July 16th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Midwest Mommy says:
You are hilarious! I am going to Blogher too and that Ford event! Can’t wait to meet you.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Kristen says:
OK – you are hilarious! And, I haven’t had my period since having the baby but with my luck, she’ll come while I’m in Chicago. Adding tampons to my packing list right now.
I just got done doing an 8 week thing with Chevy where they gave me a Chevy Traverse to drive and vlog/blog about on their Mommy Madness site. I totally fell in love with the Bluetooth phone feature (where you push a button, say the number to call and talk through the speakers of the car to the person…. soooooo cool!) Pass that on to Ford. Every car should have one
July 16th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Bunny says:
For Ford:
1) MORE HYBRIDS! I HATE filling up. You smell afterwards because I always manage to drip gas on my somehow.
2) More cupholders. You can never have enough.
3) Connection/docking in all cars for mp3 players (and NOT just iPods!)
4) Scotch-guarded fabric that resists spills (for me; I don’t have children, but I am a mess too. I am sure mommies would like, as well).
5) Better paint that doesn’t nick or chip (so your husband doesn’t yell at you all the time).
6) Something that tells you when you need an oil change or your tire is going flat.
That’s enough for now. If they could do all that, I would only ever buy Fords, forever.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
patois says:
Are you drunk and on your period now? ‘Cause I can’t seem to find #9.
July 17th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Leslie says:
I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET YOU AT BLOGHER! IT’S GONNA BE AWESOMEEE!!!!
July 18th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Amber says:
Have fun.
I wish I were going. It sounds like a lot of fun.
July 18th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Jennifer says:
Sharing is Caring!
Shoe shopping is a must – make sure you share via twitter or some other random blog with pics as at least its fun to realize how much fun people will have (sober or not). Those pictures will come in handy for a blackmail blog somewhere in the future
Have a blast
July 21st, 2009 at 7:18 am
Crystal says:
Man, BlogHer is almost enough motivation to get me to actually blog on a semi regular basis, well I did say almost. I’m too lazy but it sounds like you’re going to have a blast. Enjoy your trip.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:26 pm
sara says:
I know this is after the fact, but I had to say….you can pee through that opening in the crotch of your spanx! Do they not all have that?
August 13th, 2009 at 4:50 pm