I was laying in bed last night, in a deep sleep, minding my own business when Cleatus came barging into the bedroom ready to go to sleep himself.
Because I am a delicate flower of a princess, full of grace and dignity and politeness, I quietly stated that it was a tad warm in our bedroom.
Alright, so actually I started thrashing around the bed and moaning that it was so hot in there I was about to melt, fix it, god damn it.
Cleatus said something about the curtains blocking the flow of cool air through the open window. He pushed the curtain aside and asked if that was better.
Half asleep or not, I answered him with my usual charm, stating sarcastically that OH MY, YES! Much better! Why, it feels like the arctic in here!
“Well, let me open the window wider,” Cleatus said. He reached up and pushed and then started freaking the fuck out. “SHIT! OH, SHIT. The window came out of the wall!”
I, of course, started laughing because, seriously. Windows don’t just fall out of walls, he was obviously JOKING. Hahaha, that Cleatus. So hilarious.
“NO! It’s about to fall on your head, I’m holding it up!”
I jumped out of bed, flipped on the light and started screeching about how the next time we replaced windows we were hiring someone who knew what the fuck they were doing.
Cleatus looked at the window. He slowly released his grip on it. He reached up and jiggled it. “Oh. Huh. I guess it’s fine. That’s weird.”
Yeah, Cleatus. Weird. That’s exactly the word I would use.
(Day 2! I’m on a roll, yo!)
Jill says:
First of all, why can’t your blog remember my information? It’s going to get really annoying to have to type it in everyday that you post this month. The next time I hire someone to be one of my favorite blogging people I’m going to hire someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing.
Ahem.
Second, what the hell? Was he messing with you or is there really a problem with your windows because I, for one, will be pissed off if you get crushed by a poorly installed window and I’m not above suing Cleatus for lack of mouthwatering recipes if you die.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Amie aka MammaLoves says:
Okay that was funny!! I can totally picture the whole thing going down like that at my house.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
amy2boys says:
OMG this is hilarious. How could he possibly think it was falling out of the wall?
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Karen Sugarpants says:
hahahaha that’s the kind of shit i do to daren.
i made that blt salad for the baby shower and OMG i need to make it again and eat it all myself. YUM.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Nan says:
Uh huh, I remember the window thing. Move your bed!
September 4th, 2009 at 3:02 am
kaylen says:
Hilarious! I love Cleatus!
September 4th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Audrey at Barking Mad says:
Move your bed…just in case.
But then again, if it did actually fall out of the wall, just think of the blog fodder. And the mess. Nevermind, a hole in the wall and the mess a crashing window makes, trumps blog fodder. I think. *lol*
September 11th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Corey says:
Heeheehee! I laughed myself silly on this one, and then had to read it out loud to my husband. Who better not get any funny ideas.
September 12th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Leslie says:
I love Cleatus. When I tell Dave it’s hot in here, he’s like, “Yeah it is. Cause I’m in here. I’m hot, baby.” And if I’d tell him to fix it, he’d be like, “Yeah, I’ll fix it. With my dick.” Because he’s the horniest man alive.
That may have been too much information, but it feels good to talk about it. I’m being repressed by my husband and his constant need for sex!
Leslie´s last blog ..My Little Pooh Bear
October 25th, 2009 at 2:19 am
LauraLCD says:
Roflmao. Wow, that sounds like something my cousin would do.
October 28th, 2009 at 4:13 pm