Twenty-nine days! That’s how long I’ve been living life without writing about it. Well, I still write about the food I eat, but I haven’t been writing about, you know, my vagina or my kids or my bastard husband. I’m not going to lie, I haven’t missed the pressure of feeling like I should write something, but I have noticed recently that while I’m going about my day I’m writing blog posts IN MY HEAD. Clearly, I miss this blogging thing. Not that that means I will update regularly again. Don’t get your hopes up, is what I’m saying. You know, if you are even there anymore! And I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you weren’t!
In other non-blogging news, my most recent written in my head blog post was about how I’m a total douche-bag. Yesterday it was cold and rainy and slippery outside, so what did I do? I decided to get the mail, because like I said, douche-bag. Out I go, wearing my pajamas (because if I am at home, I am in my pajamas. Always.), snow boots, and winter coat. I was looking hot is what I’m saying. So, there I am, at the mailbox when the neighbor comes outside and just stands on his front porch and stares at me. Weird, right? I just ignored him and turn to walk back up the driveway and did I mention it was icy out there? My feet start sliding around and I’m trying desperately to hang on to the mail and keep my balance and save face in front of the asshole neighbor, but no. The next thing I know, I’m laying on the ice, which is rather wet and cold I might add, on my back with my feet up in the air. I don’t know how to react so I just…laugh. Loudly. The neighbor proceeds to tell me that it’s slippery out there (big no shitter, right there) and I should walk in the snow.
So, yeah. That was humiliating.
And, really, I think that’s all I’ve got. A month away from the blog and I come back to tell you that I slipped on some ice. Scintillating, isn’t it?
Here, have a couple pictures:
Cindy-Lu, who happens to have just turned five, looking all pretty and smiley to hide the fact that she is actually an angry, hormonal teenager who would like to roll her eyes at you and then eat your face off.
Eeyore, who is still the sweetest kid ever even though he still hasn’t quite perfected his aim while peeing standing up, looking irritated with me for insisting that he stand still long enough for me to snap this photo. And probably also irritated about me telling the internet he has bad aim.
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