I dunno about your kids, but mine do not react well when they switch from eating fruits, vegetables, and meat at each meal (er, mostly) to having an IV drip of liquid chocolate for 48 straight motherfucking hours. We chose to celebrate Easter at my parent’s house on Saturday evening, to celebrate at home Sunday morning and to celebrate at the in-law’s on Easter afternoon. Which meant that there were THREE egg hunts, THREE baskets full of candy each, and TWO very hyper, very annoying children.

Would you like to hear what my children had for breakfast? Jelly beans. And Reese’s eggs. Also? Big chocolate bunny ears.

I never thought I would say this, but CHOCOLATE? We are through. I break up.

(I’ll call you.)

So, what did the Easter Bunny bring you? I would tell you what he brought me, but you’d just get all jealous and tell me how much you hate me. No, really. You would. I know you.

While I’m thinking about it, am I the only one in the world that did not know the origins of the Easter Bunny and the eggs and all that jazz? I mean, seriously, the biggest Christian holiday EVAH and yet we celebrate with Pagan traditions? That makes me laugh.

Hope y’all had fun hunting eggs.

PS- He brought me a new laptop! Don’t hate me!

PPS-That’s not entirely true. He just ordered me one! It’ll be here soon!

PPPS-Peace out.

I was very careful to shield you all from the sadness that has washed over me and my family the last few days. It was a very trying time and I didn’t want you to suffer as well. And so I didn’t mention anything. But now everything is back to normal, the way it should, the way God intended it to be.

On Saturday morning I contacted Dell Support (and I was very pleasantly surprised! I loved them!) because my keyboard is missing a key and I’m getting a bit tired of having to push the little rubber piece in a gazillion times until it actually types the letter for me (C if your curious which letter) and they promised to ship me a replacement keyboard. One that I could install myself. Which meant that I had worried for nothing, because I wouldn’t have to ship my laptop away! And then I mentioned that my power cord had been acting a little funny and only working when the planets were aligned to his (my power cord is a boy) liking. They said they would ship a new power cord out as well.

I thanked them and went about my business. (You know, the business of sitting on my laptop all day and smiling happily at the screen, because LAPTOP, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.)

I’m sure you all can imagine what happened next. The damn power cord broke for real and the battery on my laptop died and I have been using my old *gasp* desktop computer and I must tell you that I felt DIRTY using that old thing. Like a cheater! It just didn’t feel right.

Which is why when I opened the door to see a box from Dell sitting on my doorstep I began weeping tears of joy. The FedEx man handed me a tissue and went about his day.

I ran into the house and ripped the box open, plugged my baby in and sat down to be reunited with my one true love.

I was just so excited that by the time I had pushed the power button I was hyperventilating. And then when the black screen with the big blue letters that spell out DELL came on the screen, well, I probably shouldn’t tell you what I did, but I’m going to.

I tossed that baby down onto the couch, climbed on and started humping my laptop.

Its good to have her back.

(If you are wondering what my good news is, I still haven’t gotten the all clear to share it yet, so as soon as I do you’ll be the first second third person I tell, internet! But, keep guessing because some of those guesses are cracking me up!)